I Want My First Marriage To Be My Only Marriage

Call me old school but marriage is very sacred to me and I’m very scared of getting a divorce because of it. I only wanna do this once but sometimes I feel like the man that I chose to be with is sabotaging us because he lied to me for 10 years about his past and who he is. When he came clean about it all he told me he wants me to know everything he says from that moment forward he wants me to know its the truth so I gave him another chance. Only months later I caught him smoking weed after telling me he hasn’t been. He snuck out to do it, hiding behind our vehicle and smoking right infront of our daughters things. I pretty much told him this is the last time. If he lies again I’m out. Its scary that my whole future is in his hands and its scary that I can’t trust him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I just hope he takes us seriously.

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Eternity · 26-30, M

why is it a problem he smokes weed? Weed is fine if you can be a functional adult and smoke weed at the same time

Miracle23 · 26-30, F

Because he lied to me about it. months earlier I asked him if he had been smoking because he was coming home smelling and he said no then I find him sneaking in the back of the car smoking.
Also, its just not something I want for my life and my children’s lives. I told him he’s a grown adult he can do whatever he wants but its either his kid and me or the weed. He said us.@Eternity

Eternity · 26-30, M

@Miracle23 damn it sounds like to me you're holding this dude hostage using his kid. That isnt fair. How about not in the house?

There can be a compromise here.

Funopenrelationship · 36-40, M

@Eternity agreed. Also should not give him that ultimatum. Could be he lies about it to avoid a problem and because he cares about you and the kid.
Weed is not the worst thing ever, he might need to destress and stressing him more wouldn't help.
Sure there can be a compromise.

Miracle23 · 26-30, F

I’m not holding him hostage using his kid. You don’t know our full story nor do you know me so you shouldn’t say that. I would never do that to anyway. I know what i want however and it is not someone who smokes weed or lies. The weed isn’t the worst factor however, it was the lying about it. He lied about it even before he knew it would be a problem for me. If he had just come to me and say he wants to use weed to destress my feelings and reaction may have been a little different. I prefer he didn’t smoke but I could THINK about it. The fact that he lied and snuck around however I cannot pretend thats ok and you’re just defending him🙄 @Eternity