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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

I don't live in a sexless marriage anymore, but I used to. In fact that was what brought me to EP and so on to here.

I am now divorced and in a new relationship.

The lack of sex was a symptom rather than a cause of my marriage break down. Like many others here I found solace in online "fun" but ultimately found that unsatisfying. I also thought I had fallen in love online but it was an empty fantasy.

This is what I learned.

I realised online relationships rarely last. The fantasy is alluring and we project upon the other all the unfulfilled fantasies of our empty marriage. But the reality is that relationships, ALL relationships, are hard work. You have to be able to communicate about difficult issues and if you can't communicate then any relationship will fail whether it is online or real world. But the benefits of a loving honest relationship are soooo worth it!!

Also, infidelity is never the answer. The excitement of those secret phone calls and messages is so alluring but it is not the basis for anything other than a cheap affair.


Ironically enough I met my current partner via online dating but we met in real life after only about a week of messaging. I count our relationship as starting from our first date which was in real life!

Yes there is life, love and amazing sex after sexless marriage, don't give up hope but beware the false allure of an online relationship.
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okaybut · 56-60, M
[quote]The lack of sex was a symptom rather than a cause of my marriage break down[/quote]

I could not agree more.
@okaybut annot ignore a lack of intimacy no matter what the cause.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@PoetryNEmotion Of course...it is a "symptom of the disease" that must be dealt with.
@okaybut it is a shame this disease exists. Certainly hades for those who are on the non receiving end of it.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@PoetryNEmotion Life gives you a bunch of good and bad...the wonderful challenge is trying to fix them. :)
@okaybut refusers rarely can be fixed. I suggest people get out from sexless unions. They kill people slowly like the poison they are. No one deserves that. Unless you have endured one your opinion is meaningless. Good day to you. Sexless is like a sinking shipm it shall sink and take you down with it. A waste of life and time. No one has the right to die that way.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@PoetryNEmotion I agree...either it is fixed or the relationship should likely end.