I Am In a Difficult Marriage

So my wife and I met and started dating and fell quickly and hopelessly in love. We got married after only 3 months and at first it seemed so blissful. Then I began to see another side to her. She has an explosive temper and those first few months destroyed my TV, stereo, CD's, busted a wall and even hit me. After every episode she would feel really bad and apologize profusely. But what is love if you can't forgive? I forgive every time and then I started to have episodes in response to hers (I never hit her though). My sister describes our marriage as 'volatile' and I must agree. When its good it really is incredible but when its bad its nightmarish. I used to only socially drink on the weekends but now drink almost every day because I'm so stressed out to be around her. I never know what might set her off so I walk on eggshells until she is in a happy mood again. The problem is these episodes are getting more and more frequent. I don't know what to do. The marriage is dying a slow painful death and I feel helpless to prevent it. The only thing I can do is still love her even if she doesn't love or even like me anymore. That's what love is I think, loving even when it's painful, heart wrenching and seemingly doomed to fail.

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Indulge · 41-45, F

Your story is very sad, 3 months into any relationship is a very short time to have gotten married, but when you fall in love the height is very high and the fall is very hard. If you had given more time before getting married, maybe you would have seen this side of her and they are red flags.
Love should be unconditional and forgiveness is definitely a part of that, but love should never equate to abuse (Physically or verbally), disrespect, anxiety, stress or even fear of what might trigger her to have her outburst of anger. People make the mistake in hoping or wishing that their partners would change, you shouldn't try to change her; she has to do that herself to make it a lasting change. You can propose to her to go to marriage counselling, so she can recognise her faults and change. Unfortunately you have to be hard and brutally honest about your own thoughts and feelings, being gentle and meek will not prompt her to act. You have become her security blanket and she knows if she apologised sincerely enough you will forgive her. She is putting a band-aid fix to a gapping wound. But the fact is apologies means they won't repeat it again or try their hardest to not repeat, other wise "Sorry", becomes just another word it's hollow in it's meaning and you lose your faith in that word too. It sounds like your still in love with her and you must give her an ultimatum if she wants to save or salvage whats left of your marriage, she must swallow her pride and meet you half way in counselling. Remember Love means- compromising, balance, respect, nurturing and supporting.You must think of your own sanity, self-respect and your health, drinking trying to drown out the situation can only worsen things for you and her. You are not in a inapt situation, be brave and remain true to yourself any human being deserves to be happy...why not you! You can only try your best in any situation.
If you have exhausted every thought and resources, at least if there is no result in all your endeavours you can walk away without any regrets. Best wishes.....