I Want a Lover Who Is Also My Best Friend

Im confused about whether this is positive or not. I met a wonderful friend online we became lovers. There was a very deep connection but now that the flame is dimming it is really hard to be friends like we were before.
Things happened too fast. I've always believed that a lover can be your best friend but now i doubt it. Perhaps it can be if you stay lovers forever but ive come to the conclusion lately that love or lust??? has the potential to ruin friendship.

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persistentone22 · M

@mystique, I believe that success in relationships and friendships depends on balance. There has to be a balance of energy and interest, or the relationship becomes unhealthy. To maintain the right energy level, there has to be good - and brutally honest - communication between the partners.

In the situation you describe, it sounds like he burned out sexually, like so many men do. Do you have the kind of communication with him that allows the two of you to talk honestly about that, even if it hurts you? Most couples talk about the wrong issues.

@cool2030, at first I thought you were talking about some kind of sexual meditation like tantra, which I could easily see being a very profound communication technique for a couple. I guess that was not your focus. I understand how your technique might help you determine your own desire, but ultimately I do not believe that the momentary drifts of emotion are things that any of us can rely on. Relationships are complex and you just have to build foundations on communication and time.