Feeling so alone...

My wife fell two days ago, we had to call the First Aid Squad to come. She's in hospital now, not really hurt, but she's never coming home. Her dementia has progressed so far we just can't take care of her at home, can't keep her safe, so she's going into rehab and then a memory care unit. The house is so empty. We've been together 45 years. Nothing feels right without her here.

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val70 · 56-60

How are you yourself coping there? Having problems to go over to see her? Look around for help. When my mom had her Parkinson I found that there's a lot of volunteer groups that go to people's houses just for a short visit or something. After mom passed away I made sure that dad was visited atleast once every day. Either nurse, cleaning lady, someone who brought his shopping or his dinner now and then, etc.

ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M

@val70 Just trying not to cry. I know there are things I have to do, things I should do, but right now it's hard to feel the reasons for doing them. I know logically the reasons, but my heart just keeps asking "why"? And our son lives with us now, so he's here every day after work. But I realized this morning that for years now the reason for my days was to make sure she was okay and cared for, and making morning coffee just for myself seems pointless, or making lunches, whatever.

val70 · 56-60

@ChipmunkErnie I'm glad that your son is with you now. My dad is still good enough to be on his own. It's this year 14 years ago that mom died. All what I can say more is that you should ask help wherever you can get it. Only in the second year of taking some of the burden of helping my dad myself, I know how heavy it gets at times. I'm now working part-time and can do that for another three year with safeguard for my pension. Take one step, one year at the time. It's emotional difficult now, but please, do look after yourself there. All my love X