My wife of fifty years wont be coming home

My partner has had a progressive dementia for some years now, and it isnt the vacant eyes, smiling at everything type. Its the nasty Scottish Glasgow fishwife, who flies off the handle at nothing type. Until now I have managed her, with a little help from my long suffering daughter (Why is it a mother always dotes on the son, when the daughter puts in all the effort?)
Anyway. My wife had to enter hospital for surgery on a hernia she has had for a long time, but ignored. And the successful surgery meant a stay in hospital that has exposed the worst in her, which we have been covering. Full details will not be given here. But she is being "managed" until she is healed enough to be transfered to a home with secure dementia care. I can no longer look after and be safe myself..
And the most horrible part of this is the relief I feel..Its a really $h*tty way for a wonderful partnership to end..😞

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LaLumieri · 51-55, F

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm watching it happen to my father-in-law even at this moment. He is actually my ex father-in-law and my ex-husband lives very close by but I'm the secondary person who calls them all day and comes over and cooks and cleans. We each take a big part in his care Everyday. It's been very difficult.. I can only imagine I've had to watch his decline so I know you must have Felt helpless as well watching her go through this. It is a lot of patience And Finding some humorTo share and lighten things up is even difficult. it's a lot of emotion being the memories......Please don't feel bad for not feeling terrible about her going into a facility. There are risks of her harming herself accidentally unaware of her illness.. You've given her Dignity love and independence I'm sure. And the greatest love of all is with all your heart the most difficult decision to place her where she will get the best care for the rest of her life. Know that you are doing the right thing. And continue to be a presence that's the best I can contribute to you from my heart in this situation. Please be well and take care of you so you may be strong enough to be there for her in this time. I will pray for you both and for your family