trying to live without my wife

it has been really hard the past year or so in two month it will be 2 year that my wife has passed away im finding it much harder as time passes i never thought that i would feel so lonely with out her but i do we had been married 18 years haven't been happy in life after she passed away it took over a year to be able to sleep in bed again and still sometime i still don't want to sleep in bed i don't get the right amount of sleep i should get any more i hate being single and hat being alone in this apartment i don't really care about living anymore even don't care about living in Georgia wish i could be back to my old self again but i don't see that happaning any time soon it like im lost for word it hurts so much other people still have a wife or girlfriend and go out and cheat on them left and right i never cheated on my wife and she gone

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swirlie · F

What I've often heard it said after a loved one passes away, is move to a new location that neither of you were familiar with.

If you stayed in the apartment where you are now, you will constantly be reminded of how life was with her in that apartment, no matter how you change things around.

The walls themselves will seem to echo the person's voice every time you walk into a different room, which means the apartment itself stops you from moving forward and finding closure with your wife's passing.

To move to a new place is easier said than done, but the alternative is to do nothing.

To do nothing means that your mind will remain stuck in the past and you will never experience the present moment if you devote your present moment to thinking about past events in your life.

This also means that your future will become a reflection of your past, which means your future and your past will both become one in the same.

Adrift · 61-69, F

@swirlie Very true, when my mom passed away my dad stayed in the same house. It was very frustrating seeing him rattle around amongst the old memories.
I tried to talk to him about selling the house and moving to a smaller town closer to his best friend.
He wouldn't hear of it.

swirlie · F

@Adrift
Yes, it's definitely easier said than organized for sure! Part of the problem is, the house itself takes on the energy of the person who has passed and when it comes time for your father to move, in his mind it would be like him leaving his wife behind inside the house if he moved because he can still feel her energy.

That is why he won't even consider leaving that house. In time, the energy fades as do the memories but that doesn't do anything for you right now as perhaps his caregiver, especially if you're having to tend to your father on a regular basis inside that same house.