The sicily dream - long distance
When i grew up, i had no idea, in my wildest imagination, that i, scandinavian boy, would go meet a woman in Italy.
Nor did i have any idea i would had met the woman in my previous long distance story.
Having already had experience with long distance. I was going to take it really, really slow. And this was very good.
We wrote online for almost two years i believe before we decided to meet.
Me travelling to Sicily.
There was another reason for taking it slow.. she maybe didnt really want anything to grow from it. But i was man on a mission.. again.
I wanted to soften her somewhat cold heart.. and i didnt care how long it would take.
She was so beautiful and lovely a woman.
I came to her.
We were like best friends ever, hitting it off right away.
Visited all the places in her area that we could.
We kiss, we hold hands, and all.
Watched the final episode of game of thrones together in my hotel room.
Ate dinners at amazing authentic italian resturants.
But it was all not meant to mean anything.. yet.. she ask me with concerned voice on a bench, what will we do for the future? To be together.
I said we will figure things out, no worries.
I went home..
We kept writing.. goodnight and goodmorning every day.
Hearts. Kisses. Telling eachother for a year every day "love you".
.. but we were not officially together..
Part of me was afraid to ask, since i had promised her it would be nothing.
She was caarer girl, and i was happy for her when she got spot in the best italian univerisity. And was going to move there, far into the north of italy.
I went again to her.
We did many of same things we did before.
And finally we could stay in same house together.
But things were different..
I had recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, feeling the pressure of this, and seeking job.. wanting to be successful too.
She was more angry with my smoking than before... it was bad, i knew.
Could say we got a small test of how its like living together.
I went home again.
Weeks, months passed.
Things were 90% the same, kisses, goodnights, love you.
But then.. all of a sudden, she could not bear keeping it secret to me anymore.
She mad met someone, a doctor student whom she had fallen totally in love with. Swept her off her feet.
She was geniunely sorry. And i felt this.
It was good.
I felt there was still hope.
Also because she told me this guy was a giant asshole, that body shame her, and not really accept her, and more.
But really.. she could not get over him still..
And it was the biggest mess ever..
I would think many times that all ok again, she missed me.
But no..
I went so far as to advise her how to handle all..
I wanted to be friend.. not loose and go away from her.
Be there for her even if it was difficult for me.
After all, we were never a couple right?....... right?....
But to me, it had felt like it 100%. What else should saying i love you for over a year mean?.
She would say she really didnt mean it that way, and that it was mistake...
I went all crazy, weird, desperate..
I had always wanted to give her something big, so i sent her a expensive things, even if she had someone...
Had all our photos printed, and sent some of them to her.. me saying "please. Lets keep memories together"..
What was going on with me???..
I had also gotten into a relationship. But was thinking of italy every second week.
All hell of misunderstandings and things lasted for almost a year, where she could not deal with it anymore. And i could not forget.
She said bye, few weeks after i had said bye to my current gf at the time.
She could not handle thinking of the past.
She told me, our past was good, but it was reminding her of the guy when i spoke of ours.
Which made no sense to me.
Forget the bad, think of the good, and lets be good again.
But no.. new life..
What a mess it turned into..
Nor did i have any idea i would had met the woman in my previous long distance story.
Having already had experience with long distance. I was going to take it really, really slow. And this was very good.
We wrote online for almost two years i believe before we decided to meet.
Me travelling to Sicily.
There was another reason for taking it slow.. she maybe didnt really want anything to grow from it. But i was man on a mission.. again.
I wanted to soften her somewhat cold heart.. and i didnt care how long it would take.
She was so beautiful and lovely a woman.
I came to her.
We were like best friends ever, hitting it off right away.
Visited all the places in her area that we could.
We kiss, we hold hands, and all.
Watched the final episode of game of thrones together in my hotel room.
Ate dinners at amazing authentic italian resturants.
But it was all not meant to mean anything.. yet.. she ask me with concerned voice on a bench, what will we do for the future? To be together.
I said we will figure things out, no worries.
I went home..
We kept writing.. goodnight and goodmorning every day.
Hearts. Kisses. Telling eachother for a year every day "love you".
.. but we were not officially together..
Part of me was afraid to ask, since i had promised her it would be nothing.
She was caarer girl, and i was happy for her when she got spot in the best italian univerisity. And was going to move there, far into the north of italy.
I went again to her.
We did many of same things we did before.
And finally we could stay in same house together.
But things were different..
I had recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, feeling the pressure of this, and seeking job.. wanting to be successful too.
She was more angry with my smoking than before... it was bad, i knew.
Could say we got a small test of how its like living together.
I went home again.
Weeks, months passed.
Things were 90% the same, kisses, goodnights, love you.
But then.. all of a sudden, she could not bear keeping it secret to me anymore.
She mad met someone, a doctor student whom she had fallen totally in love with. Swept her off her feet.
She was geniunely sorry. And i felt this.
It was good.
I felt there was still hope.
Also because she told me this guy was a giant asshole, that body shame her, and not really accept her, and more.
But really.. she could not get over him still..
And it was the biggest mess ever..
I would think many times that all ok again, she missed me.
But no..
I went so far as to advise her how to handle all..
I wanted to be friend.. not loose and go away from her.
Be there for her even if it was difficult for me.
After all, we were never a couple right?....... right?....
But to me, it had felt like it 100%. What else should saying i love you for over a year mean?.
She would say she really didnt mean it that way, and that it was mistake...
I went all crazy, weird, desperate..
I had always wanted to give her something big, so i sent her a expensive things, even if she had someone...
Had all our photos printed, and sent some of them to her.. me saying "please. Lets keep memories together"..
What was going on with me???..
I had also gotten into a relationship. But was thinking of italy every second week.
All hell of misunderstandings and things lasted for almost a year, where she could not deal with it anymore. And i could not forget.
She said bye, few weeks after i had said bye to my current gf at the time.
She could not handle thinking of the past.
She told me, our past was good, but it was reminding her of the guy when i spoke of ours.
Which made no sense to me.
Forget the bad, think of the good, and lets be good again.
But no.. new life..
What a mess it turned into..
36-40, M