I Hate Cheaters

@JollyRoger hmm truly depends. if u had that female friend for a while before you met ur wife and girlfriend i don’t think it’s fair for you to stop talking to them simply bc u got a girlfriend. i also do believe men and women can be friends but you know when it becomes cheating. when you start to rely on ur female friend more than ur own girlfriend and harbor feelings for the female friend then u are emotionally cheating and you def know when u crossed the line. however if you are just friends then i don’t think that’s cheating.

@JollyRoger but obviously it depends on every relationship and it’s best to keep open communication with ur SO and if they are uncomfortable with it then it is up to you to decide whether you want to continue the relationship with someone who does not want u to be friends with that female friend. it’s also up to the female friend to know not to cross boundaries. it all comes down to respect and trust in the relationship there is not straight answer unfortunately. my opinion is if i trust my SO then having that friend should not be a problem unless i see something that would make it an issue.

@newdawnnewday Thank you. I feel the same way. But society seems to frown on it by 'sexualizing' it when it's not. In our social group of retired people who all had similar careers, we have the guys dying off before their wives. But, we are not all friends - we just associate through the idea of the past career being the common bond. So, some of these women are suddenly left out of the 'loop' and it is unfair (as I see it) to just ignore them. There are other men who would visit (as past friends of their husbands) but they too are wary of the stigma of being seen with a 'lonely widow' - It's absurd but it happens and it's the perception, not the fact of 'something going on' that is allowing it to happen.

@JollyRoger it’s so saddening to think about it. it still happens in my culture and friend group where me just being alone with a guy causes gossip in my family because everyone is so hyper focused on man and women vs two people just hanging out. it’s so annoying and it’s worst as a woman bc i’m supposed to be pure and typically the men will not get talked about. it’s so barbaric and just completely negates the fact that i can have a conversation with a guy without having any illicit reason other than to talk. i can’t help but imagine the amount of missed connections and friendships i have bc of people sexualizing the friendship smh. ur friends should have nothing to worry about and should be able to have some human connection without others talking bad about it.