I do love my Husband. I have for four and a half decades. However, many nights I feel sad and lonely because many nights after my Husband has had a six pack and smoked some, we have little spats. Not real arguments, but little irritations towards each other. 😔
I am not on the same wavelength as he is because I am sober. This leads to many imagined things that hurt each other's feelings. My Husband becomes very impatient and easily frustrated with me, and I become very defensive because this has happened for so long. That is why I am up writing when I should be sleeping. I can't sleep when we feel so distant from each other.😔
In the morning, my Husband will wake up like nothing even happened, but my mind and body will be just a little more run down because I can't sleep. I have many health issues, and when I can't sleep, they all just get worse. I am trying to learn how to do better, and understand more about why I react the way I do to people, to my Husband, but I get so confused. 😔
I want to be like my Husband. If we are going to have these little spats all the time, I want to wake up in the morning like nothing happened too. I want to be able to go to sleep because arguing with him doesn't upset me enough to keep me awake. I just am not smart enough to figure out how. 😔
Maybe, when I was younger and my mind worked better, I could have figured this out. Now I just get more confused.😔
Please don't misunderstand. I love my Husband with every fiber of my being. I look up to him, so much. He and my children are everything that matters to me in the whole world, but I am just so tired of these little spats and the larger arguments we have sometimes. I honestly feel like they might end up being the death of me.😔
Honey, I know you check on me here, on this site, once in a while, and I want you to know I am so very sorry for every time I have frustrated you. I wish I were better. You know I try to be with all I am to please you, I just never seem to get quite right.😔
To whoever may read this post, please pay this post no never mind. I am just a little sad and tired. Tomorrow will be another day, and things will look much better. I just find that writing things down sometimes helps me see things more clearly.
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I get angry when I drink, not like violent angry, just kind of short tempered. I think booze does that to me, so I don't drink, very rarely. We have beer in the fridge for 6 months sometimes. Maybe your hubby doesn't realize the booze is doing the same thing to him? It can be really annoying to try to reason with a drunk when you are not, it isn't fun at all.
