I do love my Husband. I have for four and a half decades. However, many nights I feel sad and lonely because many nights after my Husband has had a six pack and smoked some, we have little spats. Not real arguments, but little irritations towards each other. 😔
I am not on the same wavelength as he is because I am sober. This leads to many imagined things that hurt each other's feelings. My Husband becomes very impatient and easily frustrated with me, and I become very defensive because this has happened for so long. That is why I am up writing when I should be sleeping. I can't sleep when we feel so distant from each other.😔
In the morning, my Husband will wake up like nothing even happened, but my mind and body will be just a little more run down because I can't sleep. I have many health issues, and when I can't sleep, they all just get worse. I am trying to learn how to do better, and understand more about why I react the way I do to people, to my Husband, but I get so confused. 😔
I want to be like my Husband. If we are going to have these little spats all the time, I want to wake up in the morning like nothing happened too. I want to be able to go to sleep because arguing with him doesn't upset me enough to keep me awake. I just am not smart enough to figure out how. 😔
Maybe, when I was younger and my mind worked better, I could have figured this out. Now I just get more confused.😔
Please don't misunderstand. I love my Husband with every fiber of my being. I look up to him, so much. He and my children are everything that matters to me in the whole world, but I am just so tired of these little spats and the larger arguments we have sometimes. I honestly feel like they might end up being the death of me.😔
Honey, I know you check on me here, on this site, once in a while, and I want you to know I am so very sorry for every time I have frustrated you. I wish I were better. You know I try to be with all I am to please you, I just never seem to get quite right.😔
To whoever may read this post, please pay this post no never mind. I am just a little sad and tired. Tomorrow will be another day, and things will look much better. I just find that writing things down sometimes helps me see things more clearly.
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Please try to accept - accept that he drinks and that may create a resentment towards someone who's in abstinence. Accept that you(or I) haven't become perfect in recovery we have our irritations, loss of patience or control Accept that a spat is temporary, and let go of the feelings. Do not carry. Learn to forgive yourself. Stay sober, it will get better and better Hugs
@Domking after many years, I do have a few spats or a big lecture from my partner - and I just dust myself off, pray for serenity, accept that I goofed up, maybe she's stressed, change topic, listen to a nice rock music and get on with my day.
@DomkingI love your comments so very much. You understand, have been there, and know what to do. This is what I have been looking for. 🙂
"Do not carry!!!" This, this is what I need to learn. "Forgive yourself," I struggle here. I can, and do, forgive all others, but self-forgiveness is much harder. Self-love is another area I struggle with. I guess it is a leftover trait from childhood abuse.
My favorite part of your advice is the second comment. You told me how to do better, and gave me examples of how that looks. This really truly helped me. Thank you so very much.🤗
