Do you get tired of your boyfriends or girlfriends very quickly?
This would happen to me back in the day, then I realized it was because I would date people just to date. If they were even half way decent, I'd give them a shot. But with that, with most people, I would just end up not likely them fully. I basically started relationships with the idea that "maybe it will get better". It never did, and it never ended well. Now I do not settle and only date when somebody can meet close to my standards.
I’ve always had trouble regarding this, whether it be relationships or friendships. It’s really hard for me to completely commit to a relationship. Before my Fe developed, my NeTi was like, this is perfectly fine. I don’t need people, but now I get trapped in the NeFe loop of needing someone to commit to. Recently though, I met this really interesting INTJ friend who I can’t seem to stop talking to. We’ve only known each other for 3 weeks though and we’ll see how it goes. I think it’s just meeting the right person.
Yes, you’ll never completely figure an INTJ out and therefore never get bored. Meanwhile, the INTJ is super charmed that you’re actually trying because we are accustomed to feeling constantly misunderstood. One ground rule if at all possible: avoid even tiny hints of flakiness, becoming bored with us, or ghosting. I think INxJs are the most hypersensitive to even the subtlest acts of devaluation, especially younger.
(I mean have a life and all, but if you say, for example, “let’s hang out this weekend,” either make it happen or let your INTJ know as soon as you realize it’s not going to happen. We are good with direct communication and not looking for offense, but I know I’m reactive to anything remotely resembling manipulation or disrespect, which false promises [and sorry, we take your statements of good intentions as a verbal commitment] would be categorized as.)
It’s funny because women are forced to develop their feeling function earlier, so I seem to sometimes be more in touch with that realm than older ENTPs I’m friends with. My ENxP “hook” is when I let out a little of my weird and get a positive response. I swear it’s addicting that I cannot outweird y’all. If you get your INTJ comfortable with emotions and being weird....well, that’s an INTJ who’s not going anywhere (I mean unless you change plans at the minute or something crazy like that 😉)
I can relate to the ‘drug’ feeling with relationships. It really boils down to compatibility; sexually, emotionally and intellectually. I’ve only ever hit one or two on the head in a relationship, but I met an ENTP and we are compatible on all three of these. So like bomb intoxicating sex and then can talk for hours about science or politics and then really open up emotionally about our feelings, past, hopes and dreams. It’s fucking incredible. I’ve never had this happen before (I’m mid thirties and both divorced) and we finally feel like we could be in a lasting relationship. It takes a lot of time and people to find that person, just don’t settle. The times I was like ‘well sex is great...’ and honestly he had no opinions or conversation skills and it was torture being around him. Then my ex husband, ‘wow can talk to him about everything! And he’s emotionally intelligent!’ and then sex was absolutely horrible, to the point I didn’t want him anywhere near me. Couldn’t even stand his smell. Point is, the three (or more obviously if you share hobbies) core elements being there WORK because when you’re not horny you can talk, and if you don’t want to talk you can cuddle and connect emotionally, and if dinner is almost ready and you’ve had a couple glasses of wine he can bend (me) over the kitchen sink and fuck me.
I’ve been through some shit and so has he but we’ve done therapy and gotten through shitty marriages and finally feel completely fulfilled; heart, soul and sexually.
The dopamine highs are very real and seem to happen with certain personalities more than others. Make sure to have a life outside of your significant other so when you come back to them after doing your own thing, it feels fresh again. Every couple goes through waves.
No, the first girl I dated I married. You should probably stop looking at relationships as an exercise and start looking at them as part of your life, decide what you want, then get back out there. If your only criteria is that you don't want to get bored with them, then you're probably gonna realize too late that relationships are an investment, not a neverending walk in the park.
I find myself consumed with a crush or person of interest up to the point where I actively chase after them to the point where I realize it was just another shiny new toy that I no longer want. Unfortunately, most of the people I actively pursue think they have formed some next level bond with me, then by the time I stop showing interest, they construe reasons in their head on how i'm running away or afraid to love or some other cliche.. some real life toy story horror shit. But It's really quite simple, I get fixated on something or someone, then I don't. Now I'm thinking that obsession towards someone is a red flag, and for me to have any successful relationship whatsoever, it can't start off like a weird fixation thats gnawing at my head.
Yes... I’m 26 and from my first relationship at 16 til 25, I’ve left a wave of destruction. It’s sad. I think I finally matured at 25 and realized it’s not a game. I’m staying single for awhile. That said, only one person I know that I’d love to get back with. He hasn’t talked to me in a year. We dated casually a few years ago and he’s 1000 miles away. I was the one that pushed him away though.... I felt very suffocated. Part of me wonders if I’ve matured enough to see why we’re a good match and if I wouldn’t push him away again if he gave me a chance, but I’m not sure. I’m happy he realized how shitty of a person I am and stepped away.
I truly believe and follow this - I've even turned it into a lifestyle. My "life plate" currently consists of an engineering day job, my own business on the side, studying French, and flying planes. When I ate mediocre food (Subway, salads, sandwiches, etc) I could barely keep up. Switched to strict lean meats + vegetables + fruits and exercise, all the activities above are much easier to handle.
Silly thing, but I had a similar problem throughout a few weeks near finals week in college. One morning, I drank a large glass of water before studying, and I suddenly found that I could remain focused extremely well throughout the rest of the day. I felt more awake and motivated to simply read my notes, regardless of how tedious I thought it was. So, basically, drink more water, stay hydrated, and see if that helps get you going when you wake up. Hydration is more important than you'd think and easily forgotten! (And it's simple to fix.) I do everyday, I feel very close to success if I could just sit down and work. If I can sit down and crank on what needs to be done. Be improving and learning everyday and pushing further those goals would be cake, I can taste how close I am but I am just stuck in a very strange funk I can't manage to push past, really need help on moving past this and going full speed ahead.
I’ve always had trouble regarding this, whether it be relationships or friendships. It’s really hard for me to completely commit to a relationship. Before my Fe developed, my NeTi was like, this is perfectly fine. I don’t need people, but now I get trapped in the NeFe loop of needing someone to commit to. Recently though, I met this really interesting INTJ friend who I can’t seem to stop talking to. We’ve only known each other for 3 weeks though and we’ll see how it goes. I think it’s just meeting the right person.
Yes, you’ll never completely figure an INTJ out and therefore never get bored. Meanwhile, the INTJ is super charmed that you’re actually trying because we are accustomed to feeling constantly misunderstood. One ground rule if at all possible: avoid even tiny hints of flakiness, becoming bored with us, or ghosting. I think INxJs are the most hypersensitive to even the subtlest acts of devaluation, especially younger.
(I mean have a life and all, but if you say, for example, “let’s hang out this weekend,” either make it happen or let your INTJ know as soon as you realize it’s not going to happen. We are good with direct communication and not looking for offense, but I know I’m reactive to anything remotely resembling manipulation or disrespect, which false promises [and sorry, we take your statements of good intentions as a verbal commitment] would be categorized as.)
It’s funny because women are forced to develop their feeling function earlier, so I seem to sometimes be more in touch with that realm than older ENTPs I’m friends with. My ENxP “hook” is when I let out a little of my weird and get a positive response. I swear it’s addicting that I cannot outweird y’all. If you get your INTJ comfortable with emotions and being weird....well, that’s an INTJ who’s not going anywhere (I mean unless you change plans at the minute or something crazy like that 😉)
I can relate to the ‘drug’ feeling with relationships. It really boils down to compatibility; sexually, emotionally and intellectually. I’ve only ever hit one or two on the head in a relationship, but I met an ENTP and we are compatible on all three of these. So like bomb intoxicating sex and then can talk for hours about science or politics and then really open up emotionally about our feelings, past, hopes and dreams. It’s fucking incredible. I’ve never had this happen before (I’m mid thirties and both divorced) and we finally feel like we could be in a lasting relationship. It takes a lot of time and people to find that person, just don’t settle. The times I was like ‘well sex is great...’ and honestly he had no opinions or conversation skills and it was torture being around him. Then my ex husband, ‘wow can talk to him about everything! And he’s emotionally intelligent!’ and then sex was absolutely horrible, to the point I didn’t want him anywhere near me. Couldn’t even stand his smell. Point is, the three (or more obviously if you share hobbies) core elements being there WORK because when you’re not horny you can talk, and if you don’t want to talk you can cuddle and connect emotionally, and if dinner is almost ready and you’ve had a couple glasses of wine he can bend (me) over the kitchen sink and fuck me.
I’ve been through some shit and so has he but we’ve done therapy and gotten through shitty marriages and finally feel completely fulfilled; heart, soul and sexually.
The dopamine highs are very real and seem to happen with certain personalities more than others. Make sure to have a life outside of your significant other so when you come back to them after doing your own thing, it feels fresh again. Every couple goes through waves.
No, the first girl I dated I married. You should probably stop looking at relationships as an exercise and start looking at them as part of your life, decide what you want, then get back out there. If your only criteria is that you don't want to get bored with them, then you're probably gonna realize too late that relationships are an investment, not a neverending walk in the park.
I find myself consumed with a crush or person of interest up to the point where I actively chase after them to the point where I realize it was just another shiny new toy that I no longer want. Unfortunately, most of the people I actively pursue think they have formed some next level bond with me, then by the time I stop showing interest, they construe reasons in their head on how i'm running away or afraid to love or some other cliche.. some real life toy story horror shit. But It's really quite simple, I get fixated on something or someone, then I don't. Now I'm thinking that obsession towards someone is a red flag, and for me to have any successful relationship whatsoever, it can't start off like a weird fixation thats gnawing at my head.
Yes... I’m 26 and from my first relationship at 16 til 25, I’ve left a wave of destruction. It’s sad. I think I finally matured at 25 and realized it’s not a game. I’m staying single for awhile. That said, only one person I know that I’d love to get back with. He hasn’t talked to me in a year. We dated casually a few years ago and he’s 1000 miles away. I was the one that pushed him away though.... I felt very suffocated. Part of me wonders if I’ve matured enough to see why we’re a good match and if I wouldn’t push him away again if he gave me a chance, but I’m not sure. I’m happy he realized how shitty of a person I am and stepped away.
I truly believe and follow this - I've even turned it into a lifestyle. My "life plate" currently consists of an engineering day job, my own business on the side, studying French, and flying planes. When I ate mediocre food (Subway, salads, sandwiches, etc) I could barely keep up. Switched to strict lean meats + vegetables + fruits and exercise, all the activities above are much easier to handle.
Silly thing, but I had a similar problem throughout a few weeks near finals week in college. One morning, I drank a large glass of water before studying, and I suddenly found that I could remain focused extremely well throughout the rest of the day. I felt more awake and motivated to simply read my notes, regardless of how tedious I thought it was. So, basically, drink more water, stay hydrated, and see if that helps get you going when you wake up. Hydration is more important than you'd think and easily forgotten! (And it's simple to fix.) I do everyday, I feel very close to success if I could just sit down and work. If I can sit down and crank on what needs to be done. Be improving and learning everyday and pushing further those goals would be cake, I can taste how close I am but I am just stuck in a very strange funk I can't manage to push past, really need help on moving past this and going full speed ahead.
