Do you worry about the future of your country?
Now that the title has gotten your attention let me clarify: this is not me being a jerk, it’s me being indifferent to what other people do and my annoyance at people saying I should care.
What has inspired this post is me being told by an acquaintance that I should be more excited for the acquaintance’s daughter (who I have never met) coming out as bisexual. All I said was “that’s nice” and tried to go back to watching television. Instead I got an earful about how I’m “unsupportive” and a general asshole. I don’t think I’m a general asshole, just a Lieutenant Asshole with ambitions for now. Congratulations on your daughter figuring out something I guess but it’s not really relevant to my life and I’m not going to expend my time and energy celebrating something I don’t care about. Do you guys ever feel that way? Like people overestimate their importance in your life without realizing the sun doesn’t actually shine out their butts? As a shy individual who spends a lot of my time beating myself up, the number one thing I hear from people in their 50's if I tell them this about myself is this: "you remind me of a younger me". Point being, caring what others think is just sort of programmed into the minds of the average young person. But nobody really cares what others think about them by the time they reach their 50's. They just don't. They've lived enough life to see that it literally serves NO point. But they're the same person. We are so attached to it that we feel like validation from our peers is literally essential to survival. But it is not, in any way, whatsoever. So many of the older people I talk to just say they feel the exact same as they did when they were in their prime, just now they are in a 50+ year old body. So, for the love of God, stop caring what others think of you, find something you love, put the horse blinders on, and just do the shit out of what makes you happy. There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever, that you need to care about how other people are perceiving you. It is only causing you unnecessary stress, at which nothing can be gained, even if you think you're doing everything right to keep others happy. Losing battle. Maybe your life has become so unconsciously centered around winning other people's validation, that you don't even know what I'm talking about. You have a following, and that keeps you going. But you don't really know yourself that well. You're going to be addicted to tangible, destructive things when you get older: gambling, smoking, drinking, etc. because you can't get anybody to care about what you're doing anymore. Because you're old now, and nobody really cares about what you're doing or who you are, minus maybe your immediate family, if you have any (I know that was a harsh sentence but the right people will know what I'm trying to get at). You're one of the type of person that seriously needs help before it's too late. What you may think is socialization and healthy conversation with others about your life, achievements, and why you're definitely going to heaven is just your brain subconsciously trying to get a fix of self-validation off the person: "I'm going to make sure this person knows how amazing I am and then breathe a sigh of relief " like you just stuck a needle in your vein.
1. Allow people to come and go out of your life as they choose.
This is something you can do right now. Make a commitment to allow everyone in your life to come and go out of your life as they please. Let this apply to friends, peers, lovers, parents, children, partners. Commit now to release all of your effort to pull people in, or hold them close.
I'm overly sensitive. I am constantly worried about hurting other's feelings.
I am so sensitive that I try to delay or avoid doing/saying things to others that might hurt their feelings often to my detriment. Other times I think about things I say after the fact obsessively worried about how someone might be hurt by something I said. It can be paralyzing and numbing. Usually I try to avoid contact with people in order to prevent being in these situations, I get really anxious. I feel like I need to try and help fix the problems of my loved ones often without them asking for my help, I feel like it is my responsibility. Does anyone have any ideas to help? Thanks for reading.
For example, are you trying to guilt-trip or manipulate people into sticking around? Are you trying to be super nice to them so that they'll stay? Are you putting on a performance of some kind so they'll like you?
See clearly that this is a losing game! All of this mental energy that goes into holding people in your life should be allocated to your life's purpose.
See which people will stick around if you stop trying to be likeable all the time. These are the people who like you for your authentic self. In the meantime, keep an eye out for more people who appreciate you as you are. (By the way, this means becoming skillful at appreciating yourself.)
2. Allow people to think whatever they're going to think.
See clearly - beyond any doubt - that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you.
Let people have their opinions. Let people see you the way they want to see you. Let people judge you! Make a commitment to yourself to release all attempts to control other people's thoughts/opinions about you. Just let all of that go. You can do this now, if you choose.
You're not here to be some watered-down version of yourself that makes everyone happy. You are here to step deeper into your uniqueness, your authenticity. This is how you best serve yourself and the world.
3. Put everything on 'red' // Remember death.
Keep death close.
Know, beyond any doubt, that you're going to die, and live your life accordingly.
If you knew you were going to die soon, but you still had a few weeks or months to go - what would you do? What would you create, study, explore, or express? What is in you to be manifested in the world?
For what are you waiting for permission to do?
And what's risky about taking a new, bold step in this direction?
Take everything and put it on the 'red' square at this roulette table. The possibility of failure, embarrassment, disappointment... take on a willingness to experience these things despite how unwanted they might be. Decide that this is a worthwhile risk.
4. Take yourself and your life seriously.
Sometimes we can come under the impression that we don't matter, that our lives don't matter, that we don't have any significant value to offer to the world.
This would be a mistake.
When a human being is given the right conditions, they mature into fuller, more-evolved versions of themselves. From there they manifest greater gifts to the world. These gifts can take innumerable forms and can vary in many ways. Sometimes they're global and expansive, sometimes they're felt and seen just in the home or community.
But in either case, your presence is valuable in this world, and it's needed. The more you offer yourself respect, time, space, understanding and encouragement, the more mature you grow and the more you become a contribution to the species.
This is serious work, and there's no time to waste trying to modify your behaviour to gain the approval of others.
Point in summary: Just about everyone who gets past the age of 50 stops caring what others think about them because they finally see that it serves absolutely no purpose. So, if you're young, take their advice. Get the ball rolling early. It's easier said than done, but with a bit of courage, you can make your path by walking. We're all made of the same thing. So trying to keep everybody happy and constantly gaining reassurance that you're okay and everybody likes you is an addictive activity that serves zero purpose. The sooner you can legitimately stop caring what others think about you and just listen to yourself and trust yourself and your true endeavors, the sooner you have eliminated a toxic addiction from your body that will have bad long-term effects.
Edit: This was posted due to an epiphany I had recently. I should have specified that this post was meant to be directed to the people out there also like me who have done so much caring about what people think that we're sick and tired of beating ourselves up and having a gratuitous, illogical and harmful amount of self-doubt. I didn't say it was easy, but through some epiphanies, I have experienced true freedom from my form of this mental prison before, and from what it felt like, it's worth it to work towards feeling this way as much as possible as early as you can in life. Just remember to treat others how you'd like to be treated, basically.
Also, it sounds like a lot of you who disagree don't have the anxiety and self doubt like us, but still are trying to develop sensitivity to other's thoughts about you to become better people. And that's really nice to see. Do other peoples emotions overwhelm you?
I believe I'm a very empathetic person. I know how to handle my own emotions and Im sure I'm an emotionally mature person. I rarely express my anger towards people because I see it as unnecessary. I'll talk with them and have a conversation but I always avoid arguments. If one happens to come my way for some reason, I'll defuse the person by either, keeping a calm tone of voice or just letting them vent out their frustration while I listen. Now, everybody I'm around seems to be completely immature when it comes to emotions except maybe my dad. And it makes it hard living with these people. The way they express themselves and completely break down or get so angry at such insignificant things hurts me. I wish I could help them, give them advice to be more level headed but I don't think I can. It puts a lot of unnecessary stress upon me and it's degrading my own health. I can't escape it either. I'm kinda stuck right now. Because of this empathy, I think, iv become withdrawn and long for solitude. It even makes me doubt if I ever want a relationship.
I love these people but I want to get away from everyone and just have my own peace of mind. My own emotions.
Anyone else feel similar? What's your story? Is it normal to feel like everyone secretly dislikes you, being your friend only out of pity or kindness? If so, how did you over come this? I realize I've never been close to anybody in my entire life. Is this something ENTP's relate to or is it just a generic personality trait that anyone can have?
I am 25 years old, I have many friends, I'm in contact with my family. I've never had a serious girlfriend, but I dated, had a few one night stands and friends with benefits. But really, it just hit me in the face yesterday... I've literally never been close to anyone emotionally. I hide things to everyone. Not necessarily bad things that could get me in trouble, but I hide most of my life to people. My parents know me only in surface. My friends from different groups know different parts of me. I'm working on a business project and most of my friends except a few don't even know how advanced this project is. Even when I dated girls, I barely ever opened to them, which is probably why it didn't work (although I was happy alone so it's not like I tried really hard to make it work). I'd say most people know about 10-20% of everything about me. When I date girls I don't tell my family. When I go see friends, I rarely tell my other friends. I just say I'm tired. In fact even if the girl is hot I don't even tell my friends unless they ask me if I'm seeing a girl. I don't talk about my friends to these girls. My friends don't know the girls and the girls don't know my friends. My family doesn't know my friends, etc... I just systematically hide trivial things to everyone. Not that I want to hide things, but opening up seems to be a problem for me. I just don't ever open myself. I would like to change that, but it's not a cry for help. I'm not unhappy or depressed. I'm a very positive and optimistic guy... But I just realized suddenly... Holy Shit, I've literally never been close to any other human being. I was happy alone, but I guess I didn't realize how alone I really was. I'm thinking about getting a girlfriend now and I know getting a girl interested in me won't be that hard, but I just don't know how I'll deal with emotional intimacy and how I'll manage to not screw up the relationship.
Anyway, is this something ENTP's usually struggle with or is it independent of the MBTI's type? Started meditation 2-3 years ago to fight depression and anxiety bad sleeping etc etc. I have had great success along with meditation, joining a gym, fixing other issues in my life loosing 60lbs etc. but I have noticed that I'm more sensitive to other people's bad vibes and moods where previously I really didn't care let alone let other people get to me. I really was closed off and bricked up. I have my problems as we all do. But it's really starting to get to me, like i have a hole in my defensive shields and dam klingons are cloaked firing torpedos at me. I can most days keep my frequency pretty high, give out as much I can and stay positive but an entire office floor of bad vibes after a long weekend clearly nobody wants to be on the sales floor and it sucks me in and can't always fight those old depression feelings myself.
So my question is this normal ? am just being more suseptible or do you have any advise on keeping the bad juju off me cause it's really messing up my moods.
Hopefully I don't bring anyone down with this. I'm feeling good again I was just curious. Is it bad that I like playing with guys feelings?
I’ve been in a few real long term relationships that were ok but I have commitment issues there’s always a bunch of guys that are in my DM‘s whether I’m in a relationship or not. The first bad part about this is that I don’t tell them that I’m in a relationship so it’s always keeping them guessing or they’re just assuming that I’m single and I want them. I usually leave the guy on for about a week and then ghost them when they wanna hang out it’s like a drug to me something that I can’t help doing. I get a rush knowing that some guy is paying so much attention to me and then when I’m done using them like a play toy I just cut them off. The bad part is a lot of them keep coming back for more it’s like they enjoy being my personal chew toy even though they don’t get much out of it just a pretty girl sending them selfies and calling them cute. I know this is just as messed up as it sounds but I can’t help it I like being praised for my beauty because I’m not the most confident person all the time so these guys help my urge to want male approval And trust me these guys are good looking and I enjoy getting to know them but sometimes it’s like they get so boring to me that I have to cut them off and then a week later I want them back because my interest for them has reset and I want to start over. I feel like this is a big problem to me not being able to grasp onto the fact that I can have long,healthy, meaningful relationships. I think enjoy playing men because I guess I’ve been played so many times in the past it’s like me getting my revenge over and over again. How do I stop???? Or even grow from this experience so I can stop doing. How do you not let the toxic people in your life get to you by living simply when you can’t just cut them out of your life?
Toxic people bring anger, bitterness, jealousy, fear, hurt, shame, guilt, and any other negative emotion. They have the power to drag us down and disrupt our peaceful existence. How have you learned to let go of being emotionally effected by interactions with these people? Because let’s face it: as nice as it sounds to just cut them out in order to live simply, that’s not always possible. How do you live simply when life gives you not very simple circumstances to work around? I need some help with this and could use your positive stories. It’s something I have been working so hard on for so long but am still struggling with even after several years. Thanks for all the great advice and support. Cutting the truly toxic people out of your life can be healthy, but I have a bit of a problem with that mentality taken to an extreme. I don’t want to be a hermit. Relationships take work and a couple of problems here and there is normal and expected. I don’t think it’s reasonable or healthy to just sever every relationship I have where there’s the slightest problem. Anyway just my two cents. I thought of simple living as maybe just being more detached and not allowing the emotions to get to you in the first place, rather than acting on those emotions by cutting people out of my life right away. I thought I’d get some help and perspective from people who have approached simple living that way. Hope that makes sense. Is there anyone here also feeling like they’ll never find the one/been in a relationship ever?
I’m turning 26 in May. I desire marriage and kids, but have never had reciprocated love? I’ve literally never had a boyfriend in my life. Like ever, ever, so I don’t know what it feels like to love someone and for someone to love you back. Anyone else in the same situation? I am a 28-years-old guy - who looks ~18-, and have lacked social skills for a long time, therefore wasn't very succesful with women. A few months back I have met someone with whom I have felt like there was a connection from the very beginning, and I seemed to have won her trust as well. We had spent some great time together, she was also giving me quite a few compliments, and have helped me grow as a person a lot. I simply felt that she could be the one for me, we had clicked on so many levels, and quite often we got emotional as well. Today I have finally gathered my strength to talk to her about my feelings, and her simple response was: "I cannot look at you as a man, you are sweet and all, but there is simply not going to be anything between us.".
She was the first person in like 15 years that I felt I had a connection with, and she has made me feel some emotions I have never ever felt before. I was in love. I actually found someone that seemed to have accepted and liked me. Guess I was wrong. SO wrong.
I don't think anyone will ever love me. For real. So there goes my confidence again, it was lovely having you for this short period of time. Why do we miss people that don’t miss us?
Some days i feel so great and not bothered by this particular person. then other days i still find myself so hung up on them and i can’t snap out of it. people change. people surprise you. people take advantage of you. why do i still long for their attention.
What has inspired this post is me being told by an acquaintance that I should be more excited for the acquaintance’s daughter (who I have never met) coming out as bisexual. All I said was “that’s nice” and tried to go back to watching television. Instead I got an earful about how I’m “unsupportive” and a general asshole. I don’t think I’m a general asshole, just a Lieutenant Asshole with ambitions for now. Congratulations on your daughter figuring out something I guess but it’s not really relevant to my life and I’m not going to expend my time and energy celebrating something I don’t care about. Do you guys ever feel that way? Like people overestimate their importance in your life without realizing the sun doesn’t actually shine out their butts? As a shy individual who spends a lot of my time beating myself up, the number one thing I hear from people in their 50's if I tell them this about myself is this: "you remind me of a younger me". Point being, caring what others think is just sort of programmed into the minds of the average young person. But nobody really cares what others think about them by the time they reach their 50's. They just don't. They've lived enough life to see that it literally serves NO point. But they're the same person. We are so attached to it that we feel like validation from our peers is literally essential to survival. But it is not, in any way, whatsoever. So many of the older people I talk to just say they feel the exact same as they did when they were in their prime, just now they are in a 50+ year old body. So, for the love of God, stop caring what others think of you, find something you love, put the horse blinders on, and just do the shit out of what makes you happy. There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever, that you need to care about how other people are perceiving you. It is only causing you unnecessary stress, at which nothing can be gained, even if you think you're doing everything right to keep others happy. Losing battle. Maybe your life has become so unconsciously centered around winning other people's validation, that you don't even know what I'm talking about. You have a following, and that keeps you going. But you don't really know yourself that well. You're going to be addicted to tangible, destructive things when you get older: gambling, smoking, drinking, etc. because you can't get anybody to care about what you're doing anymore. Because you're old now, and nobody really cares about what you're doing or who you are, minus maybe your immediate family, if you have any (I know that was a harsh sentence but the right people will know what I'm trying to get at). You're one of the type of person that seriously needs help before it's too late. What you may think is socialization and healthy conversation with others about your life, achievements, and why you're definitely going to heaven is just your brain subconsciously trying to get a fix of self-validation off the person: "I'm going to make sure this person knows how amazing I am and then breathe a sigh of relief " like you just stuck a needle in your vein.
1. Allow people to come and go out of your life as they choose.
This is something you can do right now. Make a commitment to allow everyone in your life to come and go out of your life as they please. Let this apply to friends, peers, lovers, parents, children, partners. Commit now to release all of your effort to pull people in, or hold them close.
I'm overly sensitive. I am constantly worried about hurting other's feelings.
I am so sensitive that I try to delay or avoid doing/saying things to others that might hurt their feelings often to my detriment. Other times I think about things I say after the fact obsessively worried about how someone might be hurt by something I said. It can be paralyzing and numbing. Usually I try to avoid contact with people in order to prevent being in these situations, I get really anxious. I feel like I need to try and help fix the problems of my loved ones often without them asking for my help, I feel like it is my responsibility. Does anyone have any ideas to help? Thanks for reading.
For example, are you trying to guilt-trip or manipulate people into sticking around? Are you trying to be super nice to them so that they'll stay? Are you putting on a performance of some kind so they'll like you?
See clearly that this is a losing game! All of this mental energy that goes into holding people in your life should be allocated to your life's purpose.
See which people will stick around if you stop trying to be likeable all the time. These are the people who like you for your authentic self. In the meantime, keep an eye out for more people who appreciate you as you are. (By the way, this means becoming skillful at appreciating yourself.)
2. Allow people to think whatever they're going to think.
See clearly - beyond any doubt - that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you.
Let people have their opinions. Let people see you the way they want to see you. Let people judge you! Make a commitment to yourself to release all attempts to control other people's thoughts/opinions about you. Just let all of that go. You can do this now, if you choose.
You're not here to be some watered-down version of yourself that makes everyone happy. You are here to step deeper into your uniqueness, your authenticity. This is how you best serve yourself and the world.
3. Put everything on 'red' // Remember death.
Keep death close.
Know, beyond any doubt, that you're going to die, and live your life accordingly.
If you knew you were going to die soon, but you still had a few weeks or months to go - what would you do? What would you create, study, explore, or express? What is in you to be manifested in the world?
For what are you waiting for permission to do?
And what's risky about taking a new, bold step in this direction?
Take everything and put it on the 'red' square at this roulette table. The possibility of failure, embarrassment, disappointment... take on a willingness to experience these things despite how unwanted they might be. Decide that this is a worthwhile risk.
4. Take yourself and your life seriously.
Sometimes we can come under the impression that we don't matter, that our lives don't matter, that we don't have any significant value to offer to the world.
This would be a mistake.
When a human being is given the right conditions, they mature into fuller, more-evolved versions of themselves. From there they manifest greater gifts to the world. These gifts can take innumerable forms and can vary in many ways. Sometimes they're global and expansive, sometimes they're felt and seen just in the home or community.
But in either case, your presence is valuable in this world, and it's needed. The more you offer yourself respect, time, space, understanding and encouragement, the more mature you grow and the more you become a contribution to the species.
This is serious work, and there's no time to waste trying to modify your behaviour to gain the approval of others.
Point in summary: Just about everyone who gets past the age of 50 stops caring what others think about them because they finally see that it serves absolutely no purpose. So, if you're young, take their advice. Get the ball rolling early. It's easier said than done, but with a bit of courage, you can make your path by walking. We're all made of the same thing. So trying to keep everybody happy and constantly gaining reassurance that you're okay and everybody likes you is an addictive activity that serves zero purpose. The sooner you can legitimately stop caring what others think about you and just listen to yourself and trust yourself and your true endeavors, the sooner you have eliminated a toxic addiction from your body that will have bad long-term effects.
Edit: This was posted due to an epiphany I had recently. I should have specified that this post was meant to be directed to the people out there also like me who have done so much caring about what people think that we're sick and tired of beating ourselves up and having a gratuitous, illogical and harmful amount of self-doubt. I didn't say it was easy, but through some epiphanies, I have experienced true freedom from my form of this mental prison before, and from what it felt like, it's worth it to work towards feeling this way as much as possible as early as you can in life. Just remember to treat others how you'd like to be treated, basically.
Also, it sounds like a lot of you who disagree don't have the anxiety and self doubt like us, but still are trying to develop sensitivity to other's thoughts about you to become better people. And that's really nice to see. Do other peoples emotions overwhelm you?
I believe I'm a very empathetic person. I know how to handle my own emotions and Im sure I'm an emotionally mature person. I rarely express my anger towards people because I see it as unnecessary. I'll talk with them and have a conversation but I always avoid arguments. If one happens to come my way for some reason, I'll defuse the person by either, keeping a calm tone of voice or just letting them vent out their frustration while I listen. Now, everybody I'm around seems to be completely immature when it comes to emotions except maybe my dad. And it makes it hard living with these people. The way they express themselves and completely break down or get so angry at such insignificant things hurts me. I wish I could help them, give them advice to be more level headed but I don't think I can. It puts a lot of unnecessary stress upon me and it's degrading my own health. I can't escape it either. I'm kinda stuck right now. Because of this empathy, I think, iv become withdrawn and long for solitude. It even makes me doubt if I ever want a relationship.
I love these people but I want to get away from everyone and just have my own peace of mind. My own emotions.
Anyone else feel similar? What's your story? Is it normal to feel like everyone secretly dislikes you, being your friend only out of pity or kindness? If so, how did you over come this? I realize I've never been close to anybody in my entire life. Is this something ENTP's relate to or is it just a generic personality trait that anyone can have?
I am 25 years old, I have many friends, I'm in contact with my family. I've never had a serious girlfriend, but I dated, had a few one night stands and friends with benefits. But really, it just hit me in the face yesterday... I've literally never been close to anyone emotionally. I hide things to everyone. Not necessarily bad things that could get me in trouble, but I hide most of my life to people. My parents know me only in surface. My friends from different groups know different parts of me. I'm working on a business project and most of my friends except a few don't even know how advanced this project is. Even when I dated girls, I barely ever opened to them, which is probably why it didn't work (although I was happy alone so it's not like I tried really hard to make it work). I'd say most people know about 10-20% of everything about me. When I date girls I don't tell my family. When I go see friends, I rarely tell my other friends. I just say I'm tired. In fact even if the girl is hot I don't even tell my friends unless they ask me if I'm seeing a girl. I don't talk about my friends to these girls. My friends don't know the girls and the girls don't know my friends. My family doesn't know my friends, etc... I just systematically hide trivial things to everyone. Not that I want to hide things, but opening up seems to be a problem for me. I just don't ever open myself. I would like to change that, but it's not a cry for help. I'm not unhappy or depressed. I'm a very positive and optimistic guy... But I just realized suddenly... Holy Shit, I've literally never been close to any other human being. I was happy alone, but I guess I didn't realize how alone I really was. I'm thinking about getting a girlfriend now and I know getting a girl interested in me won't be that hard, but I just don't know how I'll deal with emotional intimacy and how I'll manage to not screw up the relationship.
Anyway, is this something ENTP's usually struggle with or is it independent of the MBTI's type? Started meditation 2-3 years ago to fight depression and anxiety bad sleeping etc etc. I have had great success along with meditation, joining a gym, fixing other issues in my life loosing 60lbs etc. but I have noticed that I'm more sensitive to other people's bad vibes and moods where previously I really didn't care let alone let other people get to me. I really was closed off and bricked up. I have my problems as we all do. But it's really starting to get to me, like i have a hole in my defensive shields and dam klingons are cloaked firing torpedos at me. I can most days keep my frequency pretty high, give out as much I can and stay positive but an entire office floor of bad vibes after a long weekend clearly nobody wants to be on the sales floor and it sucks me in and can't always fight those old depression feelings myself.
So my question is this normal ? am just being more suseptible or do you have any advise on keeping the bad juju off me cause it's really messing up my moods.
Hopefully I don't bring anyone down with this. I'm feeling good again I was just curious. Is it bad that I like playing with guys feelings?
I’ve been in a few real long term relationships that were ok but I have commitment issues there’s always a bunch of guys that are in my DM‘s whether I’m in a relationship or not. The first bad part about this is that I don’t tell them that I’m in a relationship so it’s always keeping them guessing or they’re just assuming that I’m single and I want them. I usually leave the guy on for about a week and then ghost them when they wanna hang out it’s like a drug to me something that I can’t help doing. I get a rush knowing that some guy is paying so much attention to me and then when I’m done using them like a play toy I just cut them off. The bad part is a lot of them keep coming back for more it’s like they enjoy being my personal chew toy even though they don’t get much out of it just a pretty girl sending them selfies and calling them cute. I know this is just as messed up as it sounds but I can’t help it I like being praised for my beauty because I’m not the most confident person all the time so these guys help my urge to want male approval And trust me these guys are good looking and I enjoy getting to know them but sometimes it’s like they get so boring to me that I have to cut them off and then a week later I want them back because my interest for them has reset and I want to start over. I feel like this is a big problem to me not being able to grasp onto the fact that I can have long,healthy, meaningful relationships. I think enjoy playing men because I guess I’ve been played so many times in the past it’s like me getting my revenge over and over again. How do I stop???? Or even grow from this experience so I can stop doing. How do you not let the toxic people in your life get to you by living simply when you can’t just cut them out of your life?
Toxic people bring anger, bitterness, jealousy, fear, hurt, shame, guilt, and any other negative emotion. They have the power to drag us down and disrupt our peaceful existence. How have you learned to let go of being emotionally effected by interactions with these people? Because let’s face it: as nice as it sounds to just cut them out in order to live simply, that’s not always possible. How do you live simply when life gives you not very simple circumstances to work around? I need some help with this and could use your positive stories. It’s something I have been working so hard on for so long but am still struggling with even after several years. Thanks for all the great advice and support. Cutting the truly toxic people out of your life can be healthy, but I have a bit of a problem with that mentality taken to an extreme. I don’t want to be a hermit. Relationships take work and a couple of problems here and there is normal and expected. I don’t think it’s reasonable or healthy to just sever every relationship I have where there’s the slightest problem. Anyway just my two cents. I thought of simple living as maybe just being more detached and not allowing the emotions to get to you in the first place, rather than acting on those emotions by cutting people out of my life right away. I thought I’d get some help and perspective from people who have approached simple living that way. Hope that makes sense. Is there anyone here also feeling like they’ll never find the one/been in a relationship ever?
I’m turning 26 in May. I desire marriage and kids, but have never had reciprocated love? I’ve literally never had a boyfriend in my life. Like ever, ever, so I don’t know what it feels like to love someone and for someone to love you back. Anyone else in the same situation? I am a 28-years-old guy - who looks ~18-, and have lacked social skills for a long time, therefore wasn't very succesful with women. A few months back I have met someone with whom I have felt like there was a connection from the very beginning, and I seemed to have won her trust as well. We had spent some great time together, she was also giving me quite a few compliments, and have helped me grow as a person a lot. I simply felt that she could be the one for me, we had clicked on so many levels, and quite often we got emotional as well. Today I have finally gathered my strength to talk to her about my feelings, and her simple response was: "I cannot look at you as a man, you are sweet and all, but there is simply not going to be anything between us.".
She was the first person in like 15 years that I felt I had a connection with, and she has made me feel some emotions I have never ever felt before. I was in love. I actually found someone that seemed to have accepted and liked me. Guess I was wrong. SO wrong.
I don't think anyone will ever love me. For real. So there goes my confidence again, it was lovely having you for this short period of time. Why do we miss people that don’t miss us?
Some days i feel so great and not bothered by this particular person. then other days i still find myself so hung up on them and i can’t snap out of it. people change. people surprise you. people take advantage of you. why do i still long for their attention.
