How do you find happiness within yourself rather than relying on others to cause you happiness?
How do you deal with feeling like you will never find happiness? Happiness just seems so far away to me right now. It seems like everyone around me is getting married, starting a family, advancing in their careers, and generally doing the things I thought I would be doing at this age (29/m). All of my close friends are married or in long term relationships, so I don't have a close group of friends to confide in like I used to. When I do go out, it's usually with acquaintances I know from work or old college buddies but I feel like I'm an outsider who is just hanging with their group. A lot of the advice I'm probably going to receive is going to be something along the lines of how I need to learn to be comfortable with myself, which I honestly feel like I am. I think pretty highly of myself, I have a job in my field, I have hobbies, interests and aspirations. I go to the gym 5 times a week and get out of the house as much as I can but nothing seems to fill the void. I think what I really want is to be a part of something and/or be accepted, which goes against the advice of most people on here and other self help forums. I know that you shouldn't need to seek the approval of others but I feel like that's exactly what would make me happy. How can I learn to be happy being alone when I feel like being alone is what is making me unhappy? I'm really good at pretending I'm happy. If you and I were to hang out this weekend, you'd probably never guess it's me writing all of this. I'm good at socializing and meeting new people. I make people laugh and even get a decent amount of attention from girls. One girl who I went on a few dates with even said she was attracted to me because of how at peace and balanced I seemed. I remember laughing inside my head and thinking how I consider my self to be quite the opposite. I get really frustrated with myself because I know there are people who are much worse off than I am and it almost makes me feel like I'm being pathetic. I almost feel guilty because I have everything I could possibly need and there are people who would kill to have what I have, and here I am complaining about being unhappy. It's like I'm a tortured soul for no apparent reason. What the hell is my deal? Happiness really is about radical self-acceptance. The more accepting you are with yourself, the better everything becomes. When you accept and like yourself, you become happier. Social situations become better, people in those situations find you more attractive because there's no undercurrent of doubt. The domino effect extends out to everything else, but it starts with accepting yourself for exactly who you are at any point in time.
ADD caused me to have quite some unhappy episodes. Now if this was the come down to my medication I don't know, but what I do know is that ADD caused me to be more distracted and over think certain things. I'd find the flaw in everything, and with my girlfriend when she didn't reply for more than 10 minutes I immediately assumed she was contemplating breaking up with me. I over thought literally everything. Even eating. To be honest I fixed all this by using marijuana. Marijuana alone wasn't the reason for me being better though, it was the catalyst. A catalyst into finding enjoyment out of even the smallest of things, and realizing how big the universe is and how lucky I am to be alive and a part of it all. It caused me to slow down and stop thinking into everything, and just notice small things I normally wouldn't, and smile at them. One thing I remember that impacted my life was a quote from Fahrenheit 451, I will paraphrase. Basically, billboards are now bigger then they used to be because the world travels too fast. People drive by so quickly they wouldn't notice a 20 foot billboard, but they might see a 200 foot one. What I'm trying to say is, that is all true, and if we don't take time to appreciate the world around us, worrying about the worst of everything will be a constant shadow. Slow down, take it in. One day at a time, one foot after the other. Don't hold back on life either. Life isn't safe, so take risks. I don't know what kind of person you are, but if you don't push yourself and take risks, you will get to where you want to be but it'll take ten times as long. That can be depressing. Everyone wants thrills, it's human nature. Take risks. "You know, a lot of people think that just cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will; but, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were." I haven’t yet. I’ve been finding it progressively harder to know what I like. It’s really concerning because anything I want to try costs money ( I’m not talking 100’s of dollars) I’m talking like a gas tank to get where I want to go and I can’t afford it so I sit at home a lot wondering, what if there were no limits to what I could enjoy. But it’s a silly thought and why I’m in therapy.
What is it you want out of your life? What sort of a person is it you want to be? When people look at you, what attributes do you want them to say about you if you were allowed to choose? What values do you identify with? Do you live these values in your daily activities? For example, if you identify with the value of love, what is it you do everyday to show your love for the world or those around you? If you can engage in decisions/activities that move you in a direction of the person you want to be, you will never fail yourself. Living in this manner is what will also help you overcome things like your anxiety about trying new things in unfamiliar situations. Hope this helps. I am only able to attain happiness as I slowly tackle and overcome what makes me unhappy. Freedom (growing out of youth, becoming an adult), school (graduated with a degree, not more mental labor), attaining my job position (not worried about money anymore), loneliness (found a partner who fits and is here for life).
I kept going. Experienced life. Tried to make sense of it all. I decided what I liked about the world and what I liked about myself, realized I could be the person who I wanted to be. You have to learn to support and be there for yourself. It changes everything.
I quit an easy job that I didn't care about, for something challenging and more "in my field." I quickly realized that free time and being able to stop caring after I clocked out made me much happier than a "good" job. I have hobbies I enjoy but I’ve never been able to fully submerge because I find them as temporary distractions from my goals, and they would actually give me stress as I would do them. I attained the goals besides finding a job so far. Maybe we are similar as my goals made me lose myself and now I also have to figure out what makes me “happy” lol. How did you find true lasting happiness?
By not expecting to find it, actually. It's about learning to appreciate what you have and knowing that happiness is an ideal, something to be pursued but never attained. It's the paradox of desire. You can't desire what you have and happiness is having what you desire.
Happiness doesn't fall into your lap. You have to work for it. Even if that means leaving your comfort zone. True lasting happiness though isn't a thing. No one is happy for years and years with no bumps in the road. It's about appreciating the small simple things in life. Stop focusing on what you don't have and start focusing on what you do. Even if it is as small as having a warm bed to sleep in and food in the fridge.
Well I am aware that nothing in life falls into your lap... I'm also aware of small bumps in the road and those don't bother me. I think it'a more along the lines of I can't get over that daddy drinks and runs away when ever things get a little tough. It shouldn't matter and hasn't for the past 6 years or so but all the sudden it does...
How did you come to terms and find happiness in being alone?
I just got out of a cycle of depression and loneliness and I have to tell you that sometimes the emptiness stays. Sometimes it goes away. I truly believe you need to do things that make you happy to be happy. Find a reason to get out of bed everyday, no matter how small. During Harvey I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me, my grandma passed away, and so I was literally isolated and alone. Laying in bed seemed like the only thing I could do but would loathe myself if I did, so I decided to write a book. Check my previous post for my story and I hope it helps! I wasn't dissatisfied with my life. A few of my married friends have sometimes made comments on how they envy me, that I have complete autonomy over my life. And I have a couple of older people in my life who are very involved in their community, busy, social, and happy, and they're single. I was never more lonely than when I was in a relationship with some one who caused me unhappiness. In general, I just seem to be happier when I'm single, and I'm ok with that. Realize that your happiness is something you give yourself, not something you get from another person.
There's something enjoyable about going to a concert, or checking out a restaurant, or exploring an area on your own without having to drag anyone with you, or be tangled in another's indecisiveness. You want to do something? You go out and do it. No arguments or awkwardness. As much as I enjoy having company, it is just as enjoyable going about on my own. I get the intuition to a degree, though. We get older and we start to see how finite our time is. The idea of taking on a new hobby or project or even just trying some new entertainment, like a hike on a new trail or a new show on Netflix, seems mildly daunting when you realize you might blown away hours on something that ultimately just disappoints you. People become indecisive and inert that way, and they forget how much control they have over their own day.
Well, doing shit I enjoy and something that really sets your mind away from loneliness while being productive is to set useful goals, like, today I'm gonna do this and that because it will help me in the future. But I'd always advice you that even if you have a good time being alone force yourself a few times to do something social, it could be something as simple as talking with an old friend or meeting someone new, being alone is not bad but being lonely can be dangerous
What's currently the biggest source of happiness in your life?
Single guys, how do you find happiness in your life without a woman?
Kinda embarrassing but I just moved to a new city and I’m struggling to get anything going with women. A few months ago I was getting a lot of attention to the point where women would approach me and ask for my number. Just feeling down about my current situation and would like to know how you all find happiness in other aspects of your life.
Happiness is the most important thing, but the ways in which we seek to be happy are sometimes such that they produce suffering. There are things that make us happy for a while but then afterwards we suffer. The kind of happiness we are really longing to have is such that it is stable. Happiness that we can rely on, to easily access without getting suffering later on because of it. When we are suffering, such as discontent, we want that to go away, and the experience when we are content can be expressed as I am happy. The experience of being content is essentially the same, it is the lack of discontent, and this is what we really are seeking whether we are seeking it through drugs or other means. The desire to stop feeling what we are feeling, to stop being discontent is what then gets turned into actions that we feel will accomplish this. The problem comes about when those actions offer temporary relief in exchange of more suffering later on. There are two kinds of actions to relieve discontent, one which produces more suffering later on, such as drinking alcohol and then getting a hangover, or those that temporarily get rid of the discontent which then comes back, but is not worse than before, such as taking a relaxing bath. A third kind of action is one that attempts to get at the root of the discontent, and this is a way of wisdom, introspection, self knowledge and awareness. It is through this that access to stable happiness comes available since the action taken is directly to address the discontent internally instead of trying to fill replace it through an external action. It is through becoming aware of the body, the senses and the mind that allows us to see how we are using these faculties in such a way that we are disconnecting from what nature has offered and is offering to us in the moment, where natural happiness is available for free if the senses and the mind is open and not dissociating from the natural reality that is presented to us in the moment. The problem is that when we start on this inner path of wisdom we are already in a state where our internal system is working against being happy, our mind is producing ideas and thoughts that make us unhappy, our attention is most of the time dissociated from our body in such a way that discontenting feelings get to pile up since we are not actually giving attention to how our body feels, so what is available for us for free by simply existing is not being taken in, it is like air is free for you, but you are taking small gasps and breaths instead of fully breathing in. So it is due to lack of knowledge of oneself that this problem arises. For example how often do we really take time to simply feel our body. There is so much sensations here, from the bottom of the feet all the way to to top of the head, inside up to the skin, only a fraction of this sensory experience is being experienced for most of us. Most of us simply do not pay almost any attention to our sensory body, instead all our attention is on thoughts, precisely because the feelings we want to not feel are in the body, and this is a vicious circle because the reasons that these feelings are stacking up in the body is because we are not giving the body attention, the things are not being processed, so they will not get freed which only makes us more dissociated because of this tendency to not want to feel. Happiness, safety and security are the most important things to me personally. But when the chips really fall it is all about survival - surviving the heartache and moving on in that situation is the most important thing. Try not to be too ashamed of how you acted and focus on what you'd like to achieve in the near future. (Achievements can literally range from taking a shower, going for a walk, or tidying the house - they don't need to be a travel the world or buy a sports car type of achievement). There is no one answer to this question – everyone’s priorities in life are going to be different. However, most people would probably agree that happiness is important, as it is a key component to a good life. Other things that might be important to people include health, relationships, success, and fulfilment. How did you learn to not depend on others for your happiness?
If this involves a guy or gal, Forget it. You need to learn to admire beauty rather than seizing it every time you see something you like. It’ll make you more skeptical and that’s good. What you have to do is get hobbies, Keep your phone on airplane mode at-least 75% of your day, Do things you enjoy as much as possible. Have a passion and work towards it. And most importantly, Realize this. Other people (even family) probably don’t see you the way you see them. Trust should be earned. And if you do somehow find your way into a new relationship, make sure you don’t spend 24/7 texting them and keeping tabs on them. That makes you seem needy and nobody likes that, Your partner will lose interest because that would make it seem like you have no goals of your own. And that’s unattractive.
Rather, it's all about investing in a sense of purpose or mission that you have. Why I enjoyed my alone time so much when I was younger was because I always had something I wanted to accomplish. Whether that goal was something academic or strictly personal, keeping my focus on getting it done gave me a confidence as I overcame each new hurdle. Self-investment becomes more of a byproduct than anything else because when you have some singular purpose you've set your mind on, it doesn't really matter whether you're doing it yourself or alone. That said, I don't think you need to be so harsh on yourself if this venture does involve other people. Part of what I've learnt growing up is that having a singular goal is great, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy sharing it with others. Gaining confidence from others isn't a flaw, but what you can do to make it better for you as an individual is to involve yourself with others who share a purpose with you, and when you realise just how much you contribute to that purpose, you'll find enough reasons to love yourself in no time flat.
I always get excited after having an evening with a friend or my girlfriend because I get to spend the next day thinking about our interaction and coming up with new ideas etc. Exercising, going somewhere alone like a cafe to read a book or working on a project to share your progress with the other person when you see them again. Otherwise, if you see your friend or whoever constantly every day, then that relationship can get stale very quick. I mean look at most marriages. I personally developed a patient and calm personality so I don't get bored when I'm alone. I can read a Richard Dawkin's book for hours. I plan a day alone to be varied and efficient. Just don't sit at home. Wake up early, go out for a run or walk (preferably outdoors) and then you can squeeze in a mindfulness session where you sit somewhere quiet and focus on your breathing and noticing how your random thoughts flow and even reaching a "now" or "one" feeling. Then get home take a nice shower and have a healthy breakfast. Maybe take a short nap and then walk your dog or pet your cat whatever lol then go out to a book store or wherever you get a nice view and good vibe and read up on whatever you're passionate about. Maybe it's neuroscience or evolution, or perhaps psychology. Allow yourself to be there as long as you want. No plans just all day to yourself. Read a bit and then think about what you read and how it applies to you or your friends and your interactions.
Another thing that has given me great results is deleting my facebook and instagram and all that nonsense. The way I see it, unless you have a business and need to reach an audience, you do not need to be wasting time on there. It numbs your brain when you scroll endlessly looking at what he said/she said bullshit. Seriously, just delete those things. Life is way better when you interact with people in person. You'll notice just how distracted everyone is. If I'm spending time with you, my phone is in my pocket. Our real experience is more important and I want to give you my full attention. How do you find happiness and fulfilment within yourself?
Naturally happy people, how do you do it? What's your secret? Happy people, where do you draw your happiness from?
ADD caused me to have quite some unhappy episodes. Now if this was the come down to my medication I don't know, but what I do know is that ADD caused me to be more distracted and over think certain things. I'd find the flaw in everything, and with my girlfriend when she didn't reply for more than 10 minutes I immediately assumed she was contemplating breaking up with me. I over thought literally everything. Even eating. To be honest I fixed all this by using marijuana. Marijuana alone wasn't the reason for me being better though, it was the catalyst. A catalyst into finding enjoyment out of even the smallest of things, and realizing how big the universe is and how lucky I am to be alive and a part of it all. It caused me to slow down and stop thinking into everything, and just notice small things I normally wouldn't, and smile at them. One thing I remember that impacted my life was a quote from Fahrenheit 451, I will paraphrase. Basically, billboards are now bigger then they used to be because the world travels too fast. People drive by so quickly they wouldn't notice a 20 foot billboard, but they might see a 200 foot one. What I'm trying to say is, that is all true, and if we don't take time to appreciate the world around us, worrying about the worst of everything will be a constant shadow. Slow down, take it in. One day at a time, one foot after the other. Don't hold back on life either. Life isn't safe, so take risks. I don't know what kind of person you are, but if you don't push yourself and take risks, you will get to where you want to be but it'll take ten times as long. That can be depressing. Everyone wants thrills, it's human nature. Take risks. "You know, a lot of people think that just cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will; but, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were." I haven’t yet. I’ve been finding it progressively harder to know what I like. It’s really concerning because anything I want to try costs money ( I’m not talking 100’s of dollars) I’m talking like a gas tank to get where I want to go and I can’t afford it so I sit at home a lot wondering, what if there were no limits to what I could enjoy. But it’s a silly thought and why I’m in therapy.
What is it you want out of your life? What sort of a person is it you want to be? When people look at you, what attributes do you want them to say about you if you were allowed to choose? What values do you identify with? Do you live these values in your daily activities? For example, if you identify with the value of love, what is it you do everyday to show your love for the world or those around you? If you can engage in decisions/activities that move you in a direction of the person you want to be, you will never fail yourself. Living in this manner is what will also help you overcome things like your anxiety about trying new things in unfamiliar situations. Hope this helps. I am only able to attain happiness as I slowly tackle and overcome what makes me unhappy. Freedom (growing out of youth, becoming an adult), school (graduated with a degree, not more mental labor), attaining my job position (not worried about money anymore), loneliness (found a partner who fits and is here for life).
I kept going. Experienced life. Tried to make sense of it all. I decided what I liked about the world and what I liked about myself, realized I could be the person who I wanted to be. You have to learn to support and be there for yourself. It changes everything.
I quit an easy job that I didn't care about, for something challenging and more "in my field." I quickly realized that free time and being able to stop caring after I clocked out made me much happier than a "good" job. I have hobbies I enjoy but I’ve never been able to fully submerge because I find them as temporary distractions from my goals, and they would actually give me stress as I would do them. I attained the goals besides finding a job so far. Maybe we are similar as my goals made me lose myself and now I also have to figure out what makes me “happy” lol. How did you find true lasting happiness?
By not expecting to find it, actually. It's about learning to appreciate what you have and knowing that happiness is an ideal, something to be pursued but never attained. It's the paradox of desire. You can't desire what you have and happiness is having what you desire.
Happiness doesn't fall into your lap. You have to work for it. Even if that means leaving your comfort zone. True lasting happiness though isn't a thing. No one is happy for years and years with no bumps in the road. It's about appreciating the small simple things in life. Stop focusing on what you don't have and start focusing on what you do. Even if it is as small as having a warm bed to sleep in and food in the fridge.
Well I am aware that nothing in life falls into your lap... I'm also aware of small bumps in the road and those don't bother me. I think it'a more along the lines of I can't get over that daddy drinks and runs away when ever things get a little tough. It shouldn't matter and hasn't for the past 6 years or so but all the sudden it does...
How did you come to terms and find happiness in being alone?
I just got out of a cycle of depression and loneliness and I have to tell you that sometimes the emptiness stays. Sometimes it goes away. I truly believe you need to do things that make you happy to be happy. Find a reason to get out of bed everyday, no matter how small. During Harvey I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me, my grandma passed away, and so I was literally isolated and alone. Laying in bed seemed like the only thing I could do but would loathe myself if I did, so I decided to write a book. Check my previous post for my story and I hope it helps! I wasn't dissatisfied with my life. A few of my married friends have sometimes made comments on how they envy me, that I have complete autonomy over my life. And I have a couple of older people in my life who are very involved in their community, busy, social, and happy, and they're single. I was never more lonely than when I was in a relationship with some one who caused me unhappiness. In general, I just seem to be happier when I'm single, and I'm ok with that. Realize that your happiness is something you give yourself, not something you get from another person.
There's something enjoyable about going to a concert, or checking out a restaurant, or exploring an area on your own without having to drag anyone with you, or be tangled in another's indecisiveness. You want to do something? You go out and do it. No arguments or awkwardness. As much as I enjoy having company, it is just as enjoyable going about on my own. I get the intuition to a degree, though. We get older and we start to see how finite our time is. The idea of taking on a new hobby or project or even just trying some new entertainment, like a hike on a new trail or a new show on Netflix, seems mildly daunting when you realize you might blown away hours on something that ultimately just disappoints you. People become indecisive and inert that way, and they forget how much control they have over their own day.
Well, doing shit I enjoy and something that really sets your mind away from loneliness while being productive is to set useful goals, like, today I'm gonna do this and that because it will help me in the future. But I'd always advice you that even if you have a good time being alone force yourself a few times to do something social, it could be something as simple as talking with an old friend or meeting someone new, being alone is not bad but being lonely can be dangerous
What's currently the biggest source of happiness in your life?
Single guys, how do you find happiness in your life without a woman?
Kinda embarrassing but I just moved to a new city and I’m struggling to get anything going with women. A few months ago I was getting a lot of attention to the point where women would approach me and ask for my number. Just feeling down about my current situation and would like to know how you all find happiness in other aspects of your life.
Happiness is the most important thing, but the ways in which we seek to be happy are sometimes such that they produce suffering. There are things that make us happy for a while but then afterwards we suffer. The kind of happiness we are really longing to have is such that it is stable. Happiness that we can rely on, to easily access without getting suffering later on because of it. When we are suffering, such as discontent, we want that to go away, and the experience when we are content can be expressed as I am happy. The experience of being content is essentially the same, it is the lack of discontent, and this is what we really are seeking whether we are seeking it through drugs or other means. The desire to stop feeling what we are feeling, to stop being discontent is what then gets turned into actions that we feel will accomplish this. The problem comes about when those actions offer temporary relief in exchange of more suffering later on. There are two kinds of actions to relieve discontent, one which produces more suffering later on, such as drinking alcohol and then getting a hangover, or those that temporarily get rid of the discontent which then comes back, but is not worse than before, such as taking a relaxing bath. A third kind of action is one that attempts to get at the root of the discontent, and this is a way of wisdom, introspection, self knowledge and awareness. It is through this that access to stable happiness comes available since the action taken is directly to address the discontent internally instead of trying to fill replace it through an external action. It is through becoming aware of the body, the senses and the mind that allows us to see how we are using these faculties in such a way that we are disconnecting from what nature has offered and is offering to us in the moment, where natural happiness is available for free if the senses and the mind is open and not dissociating from the natural reality that is presented to us in the moment. The problem is that when we start on this inner path of wisdom we are already in a state where our internal system is working against being happy, our mind is producing ideas and thoughts that make us unhappy, our attention is most of the time dissociated from our body in such a way that discontenting feelings get to pile up since we are not actually giving attention to how our body feels, so what is available for us for free by simply existing is not being taken in, it is like air is free for you, but you are taking small gasps and breaths instead of fully breathing in. So it is due to lack of knowledge of oneself that this problem arises. For example how often do we really take time to simply feel our body. There is so much sensations here, from the bottom of the feet all the way to to top of the head, inside up to the skin, only a fraction of this sensory experience is being experienced for most of us. Most of us simply do not pay almost any attention to our sensory body, instead all our attention is on thoughts, precisely because the feelings we want to not feel are in the body, and this is a vicious circle because the reasons that these feelings are stacking up in the body is because we are not giving the body attention, the things are not being processed, so they will not get freed which only makes us more dissociated because of this tendency to not want to feel. Happiness, safety and security are the most important things to me personally. But when the chips really fall it is all about survival - surviving the heartache and moving on in that situation is the most important thing. Try not to be too ashamed of how you acted and focus on what you'd like to achieve in the near future. (Achievements can literally range from taking a shower, going for a walk, or tidying the house - they don't need to be a travel the world or buy a sports car type of achievement). There is no one answer to this question – everyone’s priorities in life are going to be different. However, most people would probably agree that happiness is important, as it is a key component to a good life. Other things that might be important to people include health, relationships, success, and fulfilment. How did you learn to not depend on others for your happiness?
If this involves a guy or gal, Forget it. You need to learn to admire beauty rather than seizing it every time you see something you like. It’ll make you more skeptical and that’s good. What you have to do is get hobbies, Keep your phone on airplane mode at-least 75% of your day, Do things you enjoy as much as possible. Have a passion and work towards it. And most importantly, Realize this. Other people (even family) probably don’t see you the way you see them. Trust should be earned. And if you do somehow find your way into a new relationship, make sure you don’t spend 24/7 texting them and keeping tabs on them. That makes you seem needy and nobody likes that, Your partner will lose interest because that would make it seem like you have no goals of your own. And that’s unattractive.
Rather, it's all about investing in a sense of purpose or mission that you have. Why I enjoyed my alone time so much when I was younger was because I always had something I wanted to accomplish. Whether that goal was something academic or strictly personal, keeping my focus on getting it done gave me a confidence as I overcame each new hurdle. Self-investment becomes more of a byproduct than anything else because when you have some singular purpose you've set your mind on, it doesn't really matter whether you're doing it yourself or alone. That said, I don't think you need to be so harsh on yourself if this venture does involve other people. Part of what I've learnt growing up is that having a singular goal is great, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy sharing it with others. Gaining confidence from others isn't a flaw, but what you can do to make it better for you as an individual is to involve yourself with others who share a purpose with you, and when you realise just how much you contribute to that purpose, you'll find enough reasons to love yourself in no time flat.
I always get excited after having an evening with a friend or my girlfriend because I get to spend the next day thinking about our interaction and coming up with new ideas etc. Exercising, going somewhere alone like a cafe to read a book or working on a project to share your progress with the other person when you see them again. Otherwise, if you see your friend or whoever constantly every day, then that relationship can get stale very quick. I mean look at most marriages. I personally developed a patient and calm personality so I don't get bored when I'm alone. I can read a Richard Dawkin's book for hours. I plan a day alone to be varied and efficient. Just don't sit at home. Wake up early, go out for a run or walk (preferably outdoors) and then you can squeeze in a mindfulness session where you sit somewhere quiet and focus on your breathing and noticing how your random thoughts flow and even reaching a "now" or "one" feeling. Then get home take a nice shower and have a healthy breakfast. Maybe take a short nap and then walk your dog or pet your cat whatever lol then go out to a book store or wherever you get a nice view and good vibe and read up on whatever you're passionate about. Maybe it's neuroscience or evolution, or perhaps psychology. Allow yourself to be there as long as you want. No plans just all day to yourself. Read a bit and then think about what you read and how it applies to you or your friends and your interactions.
Another thing that has given me great results is deleting my facebook and instagram and all that nonsense. The way I see it, unless you have a business and need to reach an audience, you do not need to be wasting time on there. It numbs your brain when you scroll endlessly looking at what he said/she said bullshit. Seriously, just delete those things. Life is way better when you interact with people in person. You'll notice just how distracted everyone is. If I'm spending time with you, my phone is in my pocket. Our real experience is more important and I want to give you my full attention. How do you find happiness and fulfilment within yourself?
Naturally happy people, how do you do it? What's your secret? Happy people, where do you draw your happiness from?
