Is being a kept woman really a bad thing?

Is having financial help from a husband really that bad? I know people will go oh what about feminism but feminism doesn’t solve having mental health problems and issues. I don’t know if I can work full time ( 40+ hours per week) and afford expensive life completely on my own. My parents won’t be around forever and I don’t want to be on supplemental security income forever. I still have student loans to pay back that my parents are helping me pay back. I would want my husband to help me finish paying back my student loans. Is it really the same thing as having a sugar daddy? I would work as much as I could. But even my parents say don’t rely on a man but unless he was abusive I don’t see how it is a bad thing especially for someone like me who has limitations.

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PEARLW · 56-60, F

No, it is absolutely not the same thing as having a sugar daddy, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting financial help from a partner, especially if you're dealing with real limitations like mental health challenges or a reduced capacity to work full-time. A healthy partnership is about mutual support, and financial support can be part of that. It doesn’t make you less independent or less of a feminist. Feminism is about having choices, and if your choice is to be with someone who understands your situation and wants to help, that is valid. Relying on a husband for support does not mean giving up your independence. It just means you are being realistic about what you can handle on your own. Wanting help is not weakness, it is human. And it sounds like you still plan to contribute in whatever way you can, which shows integrity. The key is choosing someone who sees your worth beyond money and who supports you out of love and respect, not control. Your situation is not about laziness or dependency, it is about surviving, healing, and building a life that works for you. Do not let society's expectations shame you for needing help.