How many people on here have been involved in slow burn relationships?

I usually end up in whirlwind romances that inevitably crash and burn after a number of months, but I have been seeing a guy since December where I have been experiencing the complete opposite.
At first I didn't find him attractive at all but as I got to know him more the chemistry just built and built, and is still doing so to this day. He he's trying same sense of humour as me, is witty, intelligent etc.
He is now the most attractive person I know in my eyes, yet I still don't feel the fireworks I have with previous relationships, and I sometimes feel like things are too comfortable with us.

What are your guys experiences of a relationship like this, if you have any?

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Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

Ha, too comfortable. Can't please anyone these days

AliceMortem · 31-35, F

@Jackaloftheazuresand In my experience calm comes before a storm. I'm just waiting for things to go horribly wrong.
Also I don't want to end up stuck in a boring relationship

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

What you're looking for is an ideal relationship. It doesn't exist.

AliceMortem · 31-35, F

@Jackaloftheazuresand this relationship is far from ideal. I'm trying to figure out if it's a complete waste of time

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

Ever think that maybe you don't want to be in a relationship?

AliceMortem · 31-35, F

@Jackaloftheazuresand I do, I want a family. I'm sick of getting stuck with the wrong people

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

And you want that with him?

AliceMortem · 31-35, F

@Jackaloftheazuresand I would if he could sort his mood swings out and open up to me

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

Have you told him he has to open up?

AliceMortem · 31-35, F

@Jackaloftheazuresand Every time I try he completely shuts down, starts arguments, even temporarily breaks up with me, so I've learnt not to ask any more.

It's tough though because he says he's never been open with anyone,and I'm actually the closest he's been to someone in a long time. He says he's depressed and I think he must have been through some shit in past relationships though I haven't asked.

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

Too soft, demand it. And when he puts up that wall and pushes off you tell him he doesn't get to make that decision for you. If he respects you he'll shape up when it gets serious. If not then there is your test result and you can move on.

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@Jackaloftheazuresand ^^^^^ This is good advice !
At some point he's going to have to risk letting you in. He must know that !
Not good if you're the only one revealing yourself all the time !