What have I done that I deserve this?
My boyfriend of 4 years relationship broke up with me a month ago. It is due to some trust issues we had over the years. Recent one being I found out that he has been flirting with a colleague and they have been going out behind my back. When I confronted him about it, he denied and said they did hang out and he purposely hide it from me so that it will not become a big issue. He said they are just hanging out and it was nothing more than that.
I let it go that time and think about the bigger picture of us being together but some small incidents and issue sparked another argument and in the end he decided to call it an end to the relationship.
Days after we are both calm, he said let's just temporary give each other a break until "I" find a solution on how to resolve my trust issues. I took a week to get back to him with a solution as I really did not want to lose him. By then he told me he is confused about what he wants. I asked if he still love me, he said he is not sure anymore and he needed some time to sort out what he's thinking and feeling.
A month passed, in between I tried asking for his answer about getting back together and was rejected twice. He got upset each time I ask him and said I'm not giving him enough time. Weeks down the road he became colder towards me. He no longer asked about my well being or send me morning regards messages.
He did make me confuse when he still want to hangout sometimes for meals and drinks together. We just sit down and chat like old friends. I do not dare to ask him about his decision again as at least now we can sit down and talk to each other, better than being separated. There are days he will be super cold and totally ignore me and there are days he just want to hangout with me. I am very confused.
Initially I thought I'll wait it out maybe he'll come back. The more I think about it, he is the one flirting and hiding things from me. Why is it now that he is the one that gets to end the relationship and at the same time giving me all these shitty cold treatment? Why do I deserve this? Just because I love him (probably more than he love me) that I will have to endure this? How long more do I have to endure and wait? Is it because he knows I love him he can treat me like shit?
I let it go that time and think about the bigger picture of us being together but some small incidents and issue sparked another argument and in the end he decided to call it an end to the relationship.
Days after we are both calm, he said let's just temporary give each other a break until "I" find a solution on how to resolve my trust issues. I took a week to get back to him with a solution as I really did not want to lose him. By then he told me he is confused about what he wants. I asked if he still love me, he said he is not sure anymore and he needed some time to sort out what he's thinking and feeling.
A month passed, in between I tried asking for his answer about getting back together and was rejected twice. He got upset each time I ask him and said I'm not giving him enough time. Weeks down the road he became colder towards me. He no longer asked about my well being or send me morning regards messages.
He did make me confuse when he still want to hangout sometimes for meals and drinks together. We just sit down and chat like old friends. I do not dare to ask him about his decision again as at least now we can sit down and talk to each other, better than being separated. There are days he will be super cold and totally ignore me and there are days he just want to hangout with me. I am very confused.
Initially I thought I'll wait it out maybe he'll come back. The more I think about it, he is the one flirting and hiding things from me. Why is it now that he is the one that gets to end the relationship and at the same time giving me all these shitty cold treatment? Why do I deserve this? Just because I love him (probably more than he love me) that I will have to endure this? How long more do I have to endure and wait? Is it because he knows I love him he can treat me like shit?
