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Kerennya · 56-60, F
1. Trying to do something else and not giving us eye contact when we try to talk to you. Even though you may think you can listen to her and do whatever it is just fine, to a woman it feels like you don't really care. This has some give and take to it because some women talk an awful lot, and those women need to understand that not every man enjoys that much talk or expect him to enjoy it as much as she does. A good rule of thumb is, the more important or potentially "loaded" the conversation is, the more important it is that you give her eye contact.
2. Another would be assuming that when we tell you a problem, we want you to help us solve it. That's a fairly natural inclination for a man, but isn't always what a woman needs. Often, we just want to know that you "get" how we FEEL about the problem, and then to be with us in feeling whatever we're feeling about it. Women could do with being better about saying this when we know it's what we need. In fact, for women, we often need to have someone "get" how we feel about the issue before we can move to the point of doing something about it. Having our feelings heard is like priming a pump.
3. Not saying anything or avoiding the issue when we bring up a subject that makes you feel threatened or uncomfortable, or that you think might get you into trouble with her. There are a couple of different ways you can handle that. One is to ask for a delay in having the conversation, just don't use that as an excuse to avoid it - get back to her. Another is to understand that lying is only going to make things worse, because once she figures out that you've lied about it, she'll start questioning whether anything you tell her is true, even if she doesn't necessarily say that. Eroding trust by lying just makes relationships harder. Another is to be really candid with her. "You know, this subject is very uncomfortable to me. I'm not opposed to talking about it, but could we have a discussion about how to handle this conversation, so I can feel more comfortable talking about it?" If she's the right kind of woman, she'll want to you meet you wherever you're at with it.
2. Another would be assuming that when we tell you a problem, we want you to help us solve it. That's a fairly natural inclination for a man, but isn't always what a woman needs. Often, we just want to know that you "get" how we FEEL about the problem, and then to be with us in feeling whatever we're feeling about it. Women could do with being better about saying this when we know it's what we need. In fact, for women, we often need to have someone "get" how we feel about the issue before we can move to the point of doing something about it. Having our feelings heard is like priming a pump.
3. Not saying anything or avoiding the issue when we bring up a subject that makes you feel threatened or uncomfortable, or that you think might get you into trouble with her. There are a couple of different ways you can handle that. One is to ask for a delay in having the conversation, just don't use that as an excuse to avoid it - get back to her. Another is to understand that lying is only going to make things worse, because once she figures out that you've lied about it, she'll start questioning whether anything you tell her is true, even if she doesn't necessarily say that. Eroding trust by lying just makes relationships harder. Another is to be really candid with her. "You know, this subject is very uncomfortable to me. I'm not opposed to talking about it, but could we have a discussion about how to handle this conversation, so I can feel more comfortable talking about it?" If she's the right kind of woman, she'll want to you meet you wherever you're at with it.
SW-User
My neighbor asked me before how I was doing. I told him I wasn't feeling too good these days and had to keep seeing the doctor. He decided that was a good opportunity to say some line about going back to his apartment to drink and how he'd get me feeling better after a night with him. Ugh...
Anyway, I guess it would help you listen if you actually cared what she had to say.
Anyway, I guess it would help you listen if you actually cared what she had to say.
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
The example I can think of is when I ask him to do something like.."hey, can you soak this dish when you are finished?" ... and he just doesn't listen and then the next morning I'm scraping food off a dish with a butter knife.
CheshireCatalyst · 36-40, M
Preparing your own response while someone else is talking is one of the worst offences.
Foreverinlove · 41-45, F
It's all about timing! If we try to talk to you guys while you're playing computer or watch TV, good luck! I do that when I need hubby’s approval for st 'cause he always nod and say "yes" lol
Fernie · F
grunting at you without looking away from the tv or video game
BamaBrit1819 · 41-45, C
Well, my wife tell me stuff she is going to but while I watch Alabama football because she know I won't be listening
SW-User
In every instance where I have been told I wasn't listening, I was listening.