Do I move or Stay?

Poll - Total Votes: 23

Colorado

Louisiana

You can only vote on one answer.

[c=#4C0073] OK, guys I need help. I don't know what to do, and it's driving me crazy! My fiance' and I have been fighting for about 3 months over where we are going to live. He has a really good job in Colorado and a 2 bedroom apartment there. Our children and I have a 3 bedroom house in Louisiana (family owned). Plus, I have a really good career and a lot of connections in Louisiana. My career is transferable, but I haven't been able to find a good job there. I have a lot of education and certifications in the fields of Education, Behavioral Health, and Paralegal Studies. But, I only have work experience in the field of Behavioral Health and volunteer experience in the field of Education. I was just offered a position in the school system here that would be a big step towards allowing me the freedom to further my education, better pay, and allow me more time with our children. The problem is he doesn't want to move back here because, his career really isn't transferable and my family is a bit overbearing. Our relationship itself has been pretty chaotic in the past, but I can't deny that he has really changed and is undeniably committed. Even when we are at odds, we always end up right back in-sync. After 8 years I don't see us anywhere but together. I love him more than life itself, but I don't want to regret this either. [/c]

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Salix75 · 46-50, F

You have a house, a job, your children and extended family and a lot of connections, and an emerging opportunity to further your career and get better pay and more family time. He has a job and an apartment. And to boot, you say your relationship has been chaotic in the past. Just based on those facts alone, you'd be giving up a lot, for not much in return.

I say stay where you are. Invest in yourself (i.e. career and future) because you are the only individual you can guarantee you'll be with in 20, 30, 40 years time. Maybe the relationship with him will last - maybe not.

Pherick · 41-45, M

@Salix75: This lady ☝ knows the truth of it ...

Salix75 · 46-50, F

@Pherick: why thank you *curtsy*

VioletRayne · 31-35, F

@Salix75: [c=#4C0073]I see that too. Thanks for you input.[/c]

Salix75 · 46-50, F

@VioletRayne: it's a tough decision to make, and no matter which choice you end up making, it will not be without some degree of sadness, or bitter-sweetness. Trick is to find the pain you can live with, make the best of things whichever you decide, and don't indulge in any "if only's" if things don't go the way you hoped. Best of luck.

VioletRayne · 31-35, F

@Salix75: [c=#4C0073]Yeah thing is, I can't lose him. I've fought hell for him and he's come back from hell for me. I don't want to do this without him. Then I keep thinking, why can't/won't he just bring his butt back here? He's been flying back n forth here to be with us and I'm lost as hell, but I gotta do something. [/c]

Salix75 · 46-50, F

@VioletRayne: I hear you. What if you remove yourself from the equation - and base the bulk of the decision on what is best for the children?

VioletRayne · 31-35, F

@Salix75: [c=#4C0073]Without doubt the best thing for the children is to be with him. He is a phenomenal father![/c]