Guys, why do you take so long to respond to a text?

@StevetheSleeve: that's what it feels like. Years 😐

@RebornPhoenix: Try comforting yourself with the thought maybe he was horribly injured in a farming accident or something.

@StevetheSleeve: he actually mentioned something bad happened and that he'll fill me in later. He never did. What if he's dead? 😢

@RebornPhoenix: Hmm. Sounds like maybe his wife read his messages. In which case there's a 50/50 chance he's still alive.

@StevetheSleeve: Lmfao. I know him in real life and he doesn't have a wife 😂

@RebornPhoenix: I see. The only thing left to do is text him a nude and say "don't respond to that, asshole."

@StevetheSleeve: Now that's just desperate 😂