When you want your marriage to work

But you have come to a place in yourself where you are so mentally gone from the marriage. you have no trust left, you are an overbearing controlling person whom is damaged badly from the past, from before you met your wife, you had an affair out of anger and loneliness and despair and resentment, in your mind you cannot face the person whom you have become. I'm just done as a man and as a person. my counselor asked me "am I prepared for if my marriage doesn't work out?"... My wife asked me " can I cope as a person if I ever ended the marriage, could I live with myself if someone else pursued her, could I manage if I ended up with someone new"?....