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helenoftroy2000 · 22-25, F
yeah the usual... pleasantries then the next thing you know you are tied up in their living room or a hotel toom

CookieCrumbs · F Best Comment
I think we’ve become so focused on finding a relationship that we sometimes skip the part where we actually get to know the person.

Friendship gives us the space and time to be curious about the other person without immediately assigning meaning to every interaction.

You get to see how someone thinks, how they treat people, how they make you laugh, how comfortable silence feels and whether you genuinely enjoy being around each other.

I like what you said about letting it flow like a well-written poem.

We don’t have to know the ending at the beginning. We don’t have to attach a meaning right away.

Some of the best connections and most memorable relationships in my life started out as friends, sharing common interests and life values.

When the attraction was recognized to exist, it was not difficult to fall in love deeply.
@WanderingHelplessly
Thanks for BC.

What about your experience?
Do you think people are able to establish deeper couple relationships if they started out as friends vs meeting when they were on the lookout for a partner (dating sites, local meetups)?
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
@CookieCrumbs Yes. I believe they can meet when looking. It's good to know that, but I like seeing where it flows. I have had some great friendships that dissolved because I got too rushed. I know myself, and I like when someone sets a slow pace.

I think people going to dating sites, local meetups, etc. have to be ready to start as friends. To set the boundary, say, "Let's see where this goes as friends." In the end, you want to be with someone you like. Then you learn if that person is looking for a relationship or just a hookup.
helenoftroy2000 · 22-25, F
@CookieCrumbs It never usually gets that far since most guys talk so… so… poorly, and who wants to hear so tell me all about it so the other person has to do all the talking....or typing in this case, because the guy can't ask so how did that start, what happened next, and then, till it's over
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
I think that being friends first is the best thing you can do.
It moves into a relationship okay, but if it doesn't you still have a friend.
The best relationships, I think ,are based on friendships.
I don't think you stop being a friend if you do move on to a relationship you keep the friendship it just deepens into a romance as well.
I think that is a great way to start a relationship.
CanuckAF · 46-50, F
I’m definitely a fan of friends first. I’d like to establish whether I genuinely enjoy someone’s company before hormones and poor judgment get a vote.
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
@CanuckAF Exactly. I was sitting here thinking about how that always ruined things for me.
CanuckAF · 46-50, F
@WanderingHelplessly Yeah it’s too much pressure when you’re wondering were it’s going vs no pressure when the friendship sets on fire. That’s the bestest way, IMO.
GoodoldBob · 61-69, M
My now wife and I were friends for several months before it grew (a little awkwardly) into something else. It worked very well for us.
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
I just told the story of how my wife and I met last night. Doing things as friends for many months before anything like exclusive dating. Just slow but steady learning about each other and building trust.
Now I’m finding out a simple date implies exclusively, everyone is a hurry to have a relationship but worse in my short experience; they want to mold you to their wants and needs.
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
@SageWanderer Yes. I've had many possible relationships fail because they rushed me, i rushed them, we both rushed, and we both tried to mold each other.
HotPill · F
People are too impatient
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
@HotPill I agree. I was when I was younger
@HotPill People that know YOU.........are impatient for more. <3
I would so much prefer to go slow. Every time I say friends first it gets taken as rejection but to me it's the first respect. To allow each other the time to build trust, learn who the other person is and enjoy every phase of together. A friend and a lover would be amazing.
Selah ·
That's what I prefer but it's outdated
Selah ·
@WanderingHelplessly lol they leave
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
@Selah That sucks, but seriously, if you want a relationship that is how it happens the right way
Selah ·
DrWatson · 70-79, M
That's how my wife and I got to know each other at first.

Likewise with my daughter and my son-in-law.
Never worked well in my experience, you end up in the awkward in between zone, more than friends less than relationship. If you both know it's going to be a relationship just start it that way, takes out a lot of confusion and frustration on both parties
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
@Justafantasy Not really. When you get to that place you describe, that is when you cut to the chase.
Ann99 · 41-45, F
the best connections happen naturally. You just get to know each other, enjoy talking, and see where things go without forcing anything.
MasterLee · 56-60, M
Not feasible
People are losing their virtue of patience🫤

And i dont get it.
We should enjoy the moments.
Have no expectations

If youre to busy looking towards someone filling some niche, then do you really see them for who they are......or who you want them to be 🤷‍♀

 
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