Continuing to talk to this girl who I very strongly believe has BPD who has been messing me about, no intention to meet, but to observe

the manipulation techniques. Had strung me along for a while before I clocked onto the text book games.

Even though I'm a certified mental health and neurodevelopmental disorder practitioner, it's interesting to see how these people manipulate. Especially when they know there will be social consequences, we go to the same church and she hasn't used an app where she can delete all the things she's said to me.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

No one on this planet has ever given me more Hell in life than my BPD ex. Some of those people have no issue ruining your life for nothing.

Therealsteve · 31-35, M

@GeistInTheMachine Tell me about it. She's complaining that I upset her and want arguments, so I said "okay then to avoid arguments or hurt let's have a rule where we only discuss 1. our day 2. our interests 3. our meetup", which she argued against.

Because she wants to be able to bring up ex's to make me compete against and to start trouble over and doesn't actually wants to meet. She dangles the idea of us meeting like a carrot, then when it comes to the date brings up ex's until it bothers me, then i've done something awful so conveniently the date needs moving back whilst she considers if she still has feelings for me despite how awful i was.

As for the ruining your life - she's naturally already sent this video with a laugh track of this girl having had sex and the guy pulling her back for more, then pulling her back for more again. Accompanied by the odd hints that she wants Domming and being treated like that. But like with my BPD ex who did all that, no clear parameters in a dynamic that needs clear ones, so it can be abuse when she decides it is. And with both, it's always breadcrumbed in a way in which they have you running after them for another crumb of intimacy.

And get this, I told her that my first sexual experience involved me being pressured into it, she told me that it "wasn't as bad" as and told me about a sexual experience in which the guy came in seconds whilst she didnt get wet, yet she chose to see him for 6 months whilst im not good enough to be treated properly. Obviously so many layers of manipulation and lies in there (finished in a few seconds lol) that it's ridiculous.

And somehow, it's always every one else at fault, not them.

Yuck.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@Therealsteve Be safe bro. They are certified Grade A dangerous if you let your guard down. All it takes is is letting them under your skin once or twice for things to go from 0 to 100 insanely fast. They have zero compunction and feel justified in doing whatever they want.

Mine tried to frame me for r@pe but I screenshotted her threats to frame me.

It also helped that I knew my rights and the law and how to handle it. But imagine if she was smart about it.

The more they get to know you and your strengths and weaknesses, the more insidious they can be.

And they can and will triangulate people against you and make false claims to police and authorities. They can be extremely good at acting and lying. My ex could "cry" on demand. They can be experts at gaslighting. Sometimes I wonder if my ex believed her own lies.

Don't play with fire 🔥. It gets worse for everyone involved each BPD meltdown they have. I cannot even begin to tell you the insanity I have been through. It was a terrible trauma bond and I ended up wishing I had never met her by the end after 7 years on/off.

I loved her immensely and wanted badly to help her and stay with her, but in the end she was killing me inside and out. And I was letting her do that.