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Poppies Borderline. I'm not even joking, she told me today that she overreacted to something in our conversation that was "small" and "stupid", which wasn't even anything I was actually comforting her, and that her being stupid like that was MY fault and that SHE needs to consider if she can "look past it" and still have feelings for me. I think the truth is she was stringing me along with the idea of a meet to get attention and therapy from a guy, promising a meet in september which she didnt plan on following through with, come september brought up ex's until she got a hint of nothing other than submission from me, and that's her evidence we shouldnt meet.
This "behaviour" she says she is struggling to "see past" is her constantly inappropriately bringing up ex's until I was the tiniest bit indifferent as she brought him up twice within ten minutes. Whilst apparently having a guy that comforted her about those things that no guy should be comforting over, listening to her moan about her family, sharing my disney+, serenading her (professional pianist), watching the stuff she likes is nothing... yeah, BPD 101 isn't it.
And further to the first paragraph, her solution is "let's start fresh, i now have plans for the next two weeks so maybe we can meet after those two weeks...on top of the two months i've already made her wait", and it took two hours of arguing for me to have her agree to actually "start fresh" and not pretend i did anything wrong for her to state "we need to go EVEN SLOWER", not even that but also "to see if I even like you at all". I just can't put all the contradictions and nastiness etc going on at once into words. It feels like just.... sickness. Like a festering, growing rot. That I only got with one previous BPD ex. This one told me she has no mental health/neurodevelopmental condition. Though does this to me after lovebombing me. Saying she wants sex, marriage etc and then later tells me "you were creepy" when you responded in kind hence I cancelled another meet up.
Urgh
