It's a Crazy Kind of Love.

Run. For. The. Hills.
I know you love him as a person because you are genuine. You see the good qualities in people. Well, that's great until it becomes rose colored glasses. You've overlooked a lot of things, and his abusive cycle doesn't help you anymore than alcohol does to impair your judgement.
He's assaulted you already by spitting (yes, by the legal definition).
He's over-controlling, which means he doesn't care about your boundaries.
He's manipulative. He has to be, and he knows that, in order to keep you under his thumb.
Then he pours his wrath on you, for what reason?
Oh, his daddy maybe wasn't a great guy, or maybe he was and saw his son turn into a monster. Either way, it's his dad's fault that he mistreats you. Shifting the blame.

This guy is evil. Period.

Any man or lady, anyone, that disrespects me like that and my family is asking for a five finger death punch. He's lucky.
I wish I can take him on a trip to the Holocaust museum and Auschwitz so he can look at all the pictures of the Christians and Jews being mistreated and killed. I'd shove his face to the glass and get him to repeat what all the nasty things that came out of his mouth about it.
Since, you know, he thinks he's so tough to mistreat women and disrespect the dead.
And the "gifts" are a transaction for him to just abuse you more. As said by other users, them being right about this, the whole, "I love you so much. I can't live without you. I'd die without you. I'd wait for you."
That's 💯 b.s., YOU know that.
Also, based off his behavior, he's prone to violence because of his lack of self control. At what point does his wrath become physical? I'm sure you don't want to find out.
I'm sorry, if I'm coming off pretty strong here that it makes you uncomfortable. I am angry for you. I don't want to see you hurt, or go through the abuse I went through when I was a slave. My former masters were EXACTLY to the T like your bf. It's exhausting, you have your own life to live that you have to consider what's best for YOU. NOT what he THINKS is best for you because he doesn't care about you.
He cares about himself...
You gotta step up and protect yourself. We can't do anything about it here for you other than hope you'll make that decision on your own. People say leaving is hard. It is. You get overwhelmed with all of the emotions you've suppressed all this time under a tyrant. But that's it. You don't live with him, thank God because that would incredibly dangerous.
He can't do shit, so let him go.

Don't go onto a marriage expecting him to change. It won't if anything it's likely to get worse

You poignantly point out every single reason that without getting some kind of professional help and a genuine change in his thinking and reactions, this is NOT the man you want to "spend your life with". Even the worst people on the planet have good and endearing qualities at some point. If you choose to go further with him, be extremely careful and don't expect him to change. If you choose to break it off, don't be alone with him when you do. Bring someone with you. I wish you all the best and hope you find an acceptable solution to this situation

Your honesty is so powerful. It’s important to recognize both the moments of joy and the red flags in any relationship. Remember that you deserve respect and love without conditions. Prioritizing your well-being is key, and I admire your strength in assessing what truly aligns with your happiness. Take care of yourself and know that your feelings are valid.

He sounds to me that he is someone to avoid at all cost.

Too many red flags. Do not marry that man !!

You really don't want to get married... and tell him the same thing. Why get married when you can each milk the cow and be miserable without being legally bound?

He needs to see some sort of counselor. Will it cure him? Probably not, but it give him some strategies to help process his anger, and heal past wounds.

Do not, repeat: do not marry this man. Respectfully but quickly end it. FYI- You cannot reform him.

He needs to go to anger management class or a psychiatrist

Happy for you!