Am I too attached or is it valid?
After months of healing from my past trauma which I've also shared in this platform, I am back again. I met this guy on Snapchat last September 2023 and I was the one who added him and initiated the conversation simply because I was interested in him and found out we were the same nationality. I always found him attractive and developed a huge crush immediately. Fast forward to the end of October 2023 when he told me he'd fly to our home country and stay near my city. He lives abroad so we've been long distance but no committed relationship. Just two teenagers exploring I guess. We snapped every day and we'd be so excited to see each other. Until the big day arrived and we finally met. We stayed together for 2 weeks (end of December to start of January) and everything was almost perfect. We lived a life I've always wanted like experiencing teen romance and living with your partner. We also started the year together. Hugging as we watch the fireworks welcome the year 2024. Even if it was just 2 weeks, I've never felt happier than any time last year. He made me feel so safe and cared for. He also worked hard to earn the money he spent on us during his whole stay. He made me feel like someone would work that hard to be with me. I felt like I was ready to commit again and I would take the risk of being long-distance because I knew that if it was him, I would have the strength to do it. When he went back to the country he lives, he called me that same night he landed and vented out his problems and basically how his life there is so different and he wishes to just stay in our home country and feel carefree. That's when I understood him more (besides all the deep conversations we had when we were together). I cared for him more and deeply every day. We'd call every night after that until one day it just stopped. He started becoming distant and didn't call me anymore. It's like he's not even talking to me anymore - just replying. I tried to understand. I was just there snapping him so he wouldn't feel alone. I would also watch his livestreams every time because that's his passion and even if I was the only viewer and even if it lasted 6 hours I would still stay because I didn't want him to be discouraged. I found out he left his job through stream and he didn't tell me anything and would just be acting weird. I still tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and my reason was because I am not his girlfriend but I was acting like one. His personal problems have consumed me and I have way too much empathy and care for him so I couldn't let go easily. Especially not with what we've been through and what he worked hard for before he flew here. February 2024 is when I know I lost him completely. I tried my best to keep him. I prayed for him and our situation to work so bad because for the first time in a year, I'm sure again of someone. I left him my last message 3 days ago just for a closure for myself. I just told him to take care and that I hope he was doing alright. All my messages are on delivered both Snapchat and Instagram. I still do care for him a lot I just wish he'd told me what was wrong or at least explain if he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore not just ghosting me like that.
