What makes people return to a relationship which is unhealthy?

If it's based on lies, insults, someone being drunk constantly feeling alone regardless of whether if it's true.... why go back?? I don't understand? Maybe, some may feel I'm speaking from a place of priveledge or lack of knowledge... if you say love is the reason is it really love? Or is it want, the desire for it to be love for there to be a reason, and/or it just familairity? Knowing that and not wanting to change a stupid routine where you're unhappy? What is it? Please reason with me... because I truly don't understand!

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mic11225 · 26-30, M

because people receive the love they believe they deserve.

silver1sil · 26-30, F

So, if others are telling you you deserve better and you don't look to see if maybe you do deserve better one just stays...In a twisted Relationship?

mic11225 · 26-30, M

People who are stuck in abusive relationships truly believe they can't do better and telling them they deserve better won't work, they have to realize it themselves.They probably do look but to them it's out of their reach. I'm not saying every person who is stuck in an abusive relationship is like this but personally the abusive relationships i have seen have been like this.

EDIT: oh yeah forgot another important part of that whole thing is usually people who cling to abusive relationships don't want to be alone. They think being in the abusive relationship is better than being single.

silver1sil · 26-30, F

@mic11225: I'm assuming having a person you idolized growing up never escape the same case... doesn't help ?

mic11225 · 26-30, M

@silver1sil: Not at all. Makes you wonder why you would idolize someone who was stuck in an abusive relationship tho O_O or at least that part of that person?

silver1sil · 26-30, F

@mic11225: it's not me. I question it too... I just don't understand and maybe it's because I'm someone who from
The moment I was able to talk I was taught that I can't love anyone if I don't love myself first and foremost, that I am strong and never deserve to think anything less. And even when I'm not right I reserve the right to my own opinion and that no one should ever scream obsenities and try to belittle me. I don't see how two people raised I t he same situation one submitted to a culture and the other fought it off from a young age and became stronger while the other repeated the same cycle

mic11225 · 26-30, M

@silver1sil: people are biologically different from one another, so they are going to have differences in temperament, which affects how they react to things. Even if your environment looks the same on the surface, there are alot of subtle differences in the details of those individual environments, your relationships with other people are going to be different than anyone elses relationship with that same other person. If you don't understand where it comes from then it probably comes from something that wasn't shown to you.