Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

How should I handle this situation?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He is wonderful and one day we would like to get married. The only issue is his ex gf (who he dated for 8 years).
Although she has already had two different relationships during this time, it really feels like she never got over it and sneakily wants to be in his life (he wants nothing to do with her).
For example, since she found out that we started dating, she tried and successfully worked her way back into his inner circle- they had similar friends (as they dated for so long). But before he started dating me, she completely stopped talking to his inner circle and didn’t want any friendship with them.
Unfortunately to make matters worse my boyfriend’s best friend is dating her best friend (she was the matchmaker). She tried in every way possible to organize trips/outings with my boyfriends best friend and often he spends more time with her and her bf than with us. I can see this upsets my bf.
But worst of all (as we thought that with time things would get better) most of the people he knew/that were nice to me at the beginning of the relationship barely talk to me or say hello. They look at me as if I were the reason they aren’t together anymore. Even though she flaunts how happy she is with her new relationship.
Luckily we barely see any of these people anymore but it is quite hurtful as I really wanted to get along with his friends and not feel like this unwelcome outcast.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
Shipwrecked · 46-50, M
The ex sounds a little dangerous... I think your bf should help set the friends-in-question straight. He needs to have your back... If these "friends" dont really matter, I wouldn't worry about it so much. But you and bf are going to continue to be around and do stuff with them, I'd make sure they were informed properly.

How does bf feel about the situation??
Sensitiveheart · 31-35, F
@Shipwrecked thank you for your reply! He luckily knows what is going on and is well aware that she is manipulative. We barely see these people luckily. However he is still is in touch with his ‘best friend’ (the one who is dating his ex gf’s best friend). They see each other from time to time seeing as they basically grew up together (I definitely don’t want to come between them). But somehow she always finds a way to be mentioned by his best friend (like inviting him on trips, etc) or reaches out to people he knows. It’s like she is always present in someway. If she is so happy with her new bf why does she insist to hangout with people from her past that weren’t really her close friends, instead of moving on and creating new friendships?
Shipwrecked · 46-50, M
@Sensitiveheart It is difficult to say, what exactly, is going through her head...🤷‍♂️

...but as long as you and your bf have clear boundaries and ground rules regarding this issue (and trust one another) you should be safe from whatever shenanigans she may... or may not be up to. 😎