Have you discussed race in your relationship?

In all my relationships there has been a discussion with me about race. Me being black. Means it's scary to bring me home.
Even in a black community it was about my hair.
Long good
Skin tone: maybe too dark.
If you're dark are you smart or rich?
Will I fit into the culture. Being Caribbean the African guys I was seeing decided they couldn't marry me.
And the Caribbean born men deemed me too English to really understand Caribbean culture.
My Turkish partner wanted us to be together but his mum asked if I'd convert to Islam and I said no but if we had kids they would learn of both sides and get to chose. Big fat no no!

My Asian ex kept pushing me to get a better job, when we spoke he started suggesting my job would mean he would no longer need to work and he could stay at home. But that would be the compromise because his family would disown him if we wed!
Ugh!

My Irish boyfriend well his parents were old and he just said that they would find it very uncomfortable.

All very off putting conversations which made me realise that I had a lot to lose by taking that leap of faith in someone considering these things in the first place.

Ever had to deal with this nonsense?

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EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M

I had a girlfriend from Sweden who was half-swedish and half-ugandan, we eventually lived together for over a year, I don't remember really discussing how race affected our relationship.
Whenever the subject came up it was always something outside, like how Swedish people would always ask her where she was from but would automatically assume I was Swedish because I'm white. It may seem small but it really got to her.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@EuphoricTurtle I think in Sweden they still make an issue about race. My friend who moved there from Vietnam said she suffered severe levels of racism so much so that she really dislikes everything Asian about herself except for when it makes her attractive to men that like oriental women. (we no longer speak, as she started on telling me to use creams with lightening properties and tried to make me feel inferior)

EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M

@Mellowgirl That's pretty messed up. I think, and again this is my perception as a white man, out of a lot of EU countries Sweden is perhaps one of the tamest ones in relation to racism. But it certainly exists.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@EuphoricTurtle umm not from what she described. It was being excluded from things by other kids, questions about the food they eat and why they always ate rice. Why they spoke weird. Whether they could see properly.
People pulling her cheeks so they could inspect her gums.
Walking around seeing kids pulling their eyes back to form the shape of hers.
As they weren't exactly well off they had fashion clothes when they were almost on their way out of style obviously people commented on this.
In fact she was voted as ugliest girl in her class.

When she moved to the UK she started to dye her hair brown and blonde. Got braces and really fixed herself up. When she returned to Sweden, on a night out with her only friend in school she bumped into a bully from her class.
She said she was so shocked she was stuck to her like sh*t the whole night.
That was the first time she felt "special".

Sad!

EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M

@Mellowgirl Sorry if I wasn't clear. I mean't messed up as in it was messed up she had to deal with that. As someone who also lived in the UK and who had people get confrontational with me just because I wasn't speaking english I still feel Sweden is one of the most accepting countries in Europe. But that's just based on my personal experience.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@EuphoricTurtle fair enough never been myself so I wouldn't be able to say.
I have a friend there who is from Syria and he's inviting me to visit once it's safe to travel.