I can’t stop over thinking...advice?

I’m trying my best to not over think shit but my insecurities get the best of me....ESPECIALLY in the “dating” world. I’m just super defensive and have some trust issues (don’t we all) and it gets difficult for me when the self doubt piles on. Sometimes this leads me to ghost people and just abandon the situation altogether because my self doubt and defeatist mindset is thinking “what’s the point?” It really makes getting to know people a challenge because I’m always thinking they’re out to get me or That there’s always someone better than me for everyone. I’m nobody’s first choice...

Recently I’ve been texting this new guy I met (see last post if your curious lol)...we’ve actually been texting for quite some time. (Try a month and a half) I’m surprised neither of us has ghosted. We definitely found some common interests and interact in one of them together (video games) but I know you can only text someone for so long. I want to meet up with him sometime to hangout but I’m super nervous. I dunno why but meeting people has always been a challenge for me (how do you figure lol)

Recently he was on vacation and drunk texted me saying “I just wanna say that I’m sorry if I don’t text you as much throughout the day. Just know that I don’t purposely do it and I really love talking to you very much. Also I hope you’re having a great day...okay love is a little dramatic, I’m kinda drunk sorry lol but I mean I just really like talking to you so sorry if I don’t text you all day”

Which I thought was sweet but my trust issues have been kicking in and my brain is telling me that he was just messing with me for fun.... ugh. Why am I like this....Help? Lol

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

How do people like you cope in the real world ?
With real problems ?

You talk about insecurities and self-doubt in relationships like you’re 45 and been through 3 marriages already !

Get some perspective !

Everybody has self-doubt ! If they didn’t we’d [b]ALL[/b] have a deplorable excess of personality and be unbearable in another’s company !

You’re not supposed to have all the answers !
None of us do !

Where has all this angst come from ?

You’re young.
You’ll never be this free from ‘life’s experience’ again !
In time many things will colour your thinking and challenge your choices.
But you are allowed to attempt things and fail !
You are allowed to get disappointed and frustrated !
That’s what life largely is !

Roll the dice and take your chances !
Sure many will let you down. Leave you disappointed. Maybe even sad.
But that’s how you grow. By dealing with it and learning the lessons it teaches you.

Word to the wise ?
Don’t invest your hopes and dreams in random online ‘connections’.
People online are rarely who they appear to be in real life.

Real life means having to cope with those days when you don’t feel confident.
Lot easier to do that behind a keyboard than in the real world where somebody who actually really likes you is depending on you to come through for them.