What should i do?

So I have been dating a lot the past year. Met a few men who I felt passionate about who ended up being complete( I do mean that in every way) dipshits. I felt so much for these men but they could never be what I needed or what was good for me. I have recently met a man who i do not feel passion for. I dont dislike him but I'm just not getting any of that automatic connection with him. So this guy in theory is everything I want. Hes is physically and emotionally available. Caters to me one hand and foot( dont nesscesarily want that though). Hes ready to settle down and seems so open and genuine. I'm not 100 percent we have a lot in common but but he tries. Would i be a shitty person to see where this goes. Is it so bad to enter into a full on relationship with the intention of learning to love someone. I k ow ot was done in the past a lot with arranged marriages and stuff but this isnt that. This is someones times I would be wasting if it goes south. I'm just really over dating and know this guy would be good for me if I can open up more and get over the fact I would be settling. Should I continue this and start a life with this man who could potentially mean so much to me or should I end this here.

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Eternity · 26-30, M

I wouldn't say you should start a committed relationship but I definitely think you should spend some time with him and try and see if you can warm up to him. Love really is about more than just a "spark" you know. A lot of it is effort.

Sparks die. As you have seen.

Put in some work trying to develop some rapport with him. Include him in stuff. Be open. Don't put it all on him.

Or go back to chasing waterfalls and hope for better luck.

Your choice. But when he moves on and finds someone and you're still getting dogged out you'll probably feel bad. Js.

TopOfTheWorld

Take your time. Keep meeting him as a friend and see what, if anything, develops. Don’t make it a “full on relationship“ yet. If the above isn’t acceptable to him he’s definitely not the right guy for you.

Justmeherek · 31-35, F

@TopOfTheWorld that's the thing he is the biggest gentleman. We have had no sexual contact and he has never pressured me. OS it ok to not feel a spark but want him for his stability. Not his money or anything just what he stands for?

TopOfTheWorld

@Justmeherek yes that’s ok , as long as you’re mindful that it needs to be ok for him too if the relationship is going to survive and flourish as time passes.

hartfire

If there's no chance of physical attraction, then it's kinder not to mess with his heart.

But if there's a chance that you could find him attractive, then give it time to develop friendship.

Friendship is has a much better prospect of turning into a successful life-long relationship.

On the other hand, you could take a different path. Become more selective about who you date. Be clear about what you're looking for and don't settle for less.
Going out with lots of men can waste a lot of time.

revenant · F

You might become really bored with him

Oster1 · M

If you don’t have feels, that’s OK. I would not want to be lead on and would even enjoy the friendzone, so nothing is really lost at this stage.☺️

johntomSWPhd · 36-40

Yeh, just spare him the trouble.

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