Why do people always want that "thrill" of entering a new relationship?

@5lutmuffin For women, yes.

@scooogy why just women?

@5lutmuffin I'm trying to remember.. was it "women go their own way" or was it men re-tweeting the hashtag "me too"? 🤔

@scooogy where are you going with this?

@5lutmuffin Women complain about both men approaching them too harshly and not being approached often enough, asking people why men wouldn't approach them and how they could change that. That makes women seem like they were kept in cages.

@scooogy....how is this related to your question and my response? Also the same could be said for men so I'm not sure why only women are singled out?

@5lutmuffin Men being sexually assaulted or women sexually sexually assaulting others still needs to get more into focus by science nowadays, and still gets silenced by people just because they don't wanna believe what they hear or read. Now why should I still get objectified, that a man should just "be made to ask a woman out"? If I don't, I don't. But instead of accepting that, I get declared as gay or overly sexual.

@scooogy well you're not being objectified are you? You're contributing to societal standards. If you dont want to ask somebody out, why do you feel you need to? Not bc there isnt a large enough emphasis on science but bc society's shoved it down your throat along with many others that you believe that doing something and not doing something shows masculinity. It's up to you to break that stigma otherwise you keep believing it🤷🏻‍♀️

@5lutmuffin My crush seemed to like to flirt with me for quite some time now, and I really hope she meanwhile gets that I'd like to take it slow. I mean, when I once talked to my father about such things, he finally confessed to me that whilst I got to know my crush for over 2 years now, he proposed to my mom after a month of getting to know her already.

@scooogy times are different. Just bc your father found love faster doesnt mean you have to, you're living your life not your father's.

Be direct. Tell her what you're looking for and ask what she's looking for in a relationship, so you're on the same page. However 2 years of just flirting when both you and her show interest is fairly long..I imagine it would fizzle out unless one or the other made the move to be more? Unless you guys like staying in that gray in between

@5lutmuffin She often tells me quite in detail where she recently went or where she was about to go to, like a lady's night or a birthday party. And boring me tells her of the progress in my bachelor thesis, as I don't seem to have a life :/

@scooogy well that's good she's making an effort to include you in her life...perhaps pick up a new hobby or skill to tell her about if you feel you have nothing of value to offer back.

@5lutmuffin I once thought about asking her if she'd like to do some of these things with me, as she once told me of a dance club she goes to, when I asked her what she did in her free time to get rid of the daily stress. It felt like she subtly invited me to join her there. 🤔

@scooogy one has to make the move otherwise you're stuck in limbo...unless you like that then to each their own

@5lutmuffin My therapist tries to make me want her as a girlfriend, but I know of myself that I'm likely to fail with that, as quite some women used to leave me after they seemed to get bored, like one who left me after I said I'd need to focus on school. Another one turned me down for similar reasons. And eversince I heard a female friend of mine claim that you'd need to meet up every single day in order to keep a relationship alive, I felt smothered even by the thought of it.

@scooogy relationships aren't a one track road. Some women require more attention than others, and some dont 🤷🏻‍♀️ if you listen to others and direct your life based on their assumptions you get nowhere.

This is also where being direct comes into play. Figure out what you're willing to give and what you're not. Then see if your needs are compatible with hers and work with it. Just bc you're in a relationship doesnt mean you need to be down their throat every minute, that's childish & unhealthy. There's alot of little things you can do that dont require alot of effort/time for your S.O if you lead a busy life, but still want to show them you're thinking of them/you care.

@5lutmuffin But I think exactly that busy life is what I should only interfere in if asked to. Otherwise I think I might be a burden for her with my attempts.

@scooogy gotta make a few sacrifices if you want something...can't have it all your way.

If you know you're too busy & your focus is just on your work, be direct so she's not hanging on to hope that you want more with her.

@5lutmuffin It's rather the other way around.

@scooogy you said earlier that women tend to leave out of boredom when you choose to focus on school? So you're saying shes the one too busy for you?

@5lutmuffin Seemingly yes, because judging by what she told me, she's far more active than I am. And for weird reasons I don't feel like doing the things she does in her free time, like going on bike trips or meeting friends. Somehow during university I lost that habit.

@scooogy but if shes more active that suggests she wouldn't be suffocating you for so much attention like you stated worried you in relationships?

It's okay to have separate lives in a relationship, where you have different interests... but if you dont have a common ground to grow from then there's not much anchoring you down together.

@5lutmuffin I just have things randomly come to my mind, which sometimes takes to either have her listen to me or to figure it out by myself, which affords alone time.