What is the biggest heartbreak you have had?💔

Past pet deaths such as my first ever guinea pig and my first rabbits , they was thearpy for me and stopped me from killing my self. And I’ve had really bad heart breaks over friendships and relationships too only a few have really made me feel it for years still afterwards. I had and family deaths like my brothers he was 14 and I dont talk about him much and when he died my teacher asked me if I missed him and that really annoyed me as she asked it about a month after and grandmas she was great and if my dad told me off in front of her she would tell him off ,she always gave me colouring books every time I visited and she always made sure I ate too , and she gave me and my brother £1 everytime we visited , we had a picnic and went to the garden centre a lot together it sucked when I turned 14 as I couldn’t see her for months when she moved into an old people’s home that was hurting me at the time then she died when I was about 17 I when I got back from a horse riding competition I won a rosette and I wanted to show her but I couldn’t as she died on the day I won it. My grandad died and that made me feel like that too as my dad stopped taking me down to see him and he complained to my mum about it then he only taken me once after that and then he died last year. We used to go into town on the train and he brought me a toy or a game and sweets and ice cream it’s so weird as the place hasn’t even changed any since I was about 7 , I first went back when I just turned 18 and the ice cream thing had moved and I used to get my face painted a butterfly but that wasn’t there but everything looked the same.