I am confused in my relationship. What should I do?

I started dating X November of 2018 and we were fine but there were some red flags (ex: he was close to his ex girlfriend). At first I didn’t mind because I was friends with a couple ex boyfriends but not close. It posed a problem later on in the relationship. We broke up in April but remained friends with benefits (stupid). I couldn’t let him go. I enjoyed his company and didn’t have many friends. He was talking to his ex the entire time and seeing her in another city, dropping acid with her. After his visit in July he said he wasn’t into her anymore. In October one of his friends started hitting on me and we ended up dating. This obviously made him jealous and hurt. He confessed his never dying love for me and that he regrets losing me and that he will be better person for me. He cut off the ex girlfriend (more like she cut him off), and promised to do the things I want. I always wanted him to show me off so I could feel more appreciated, to be more romantic, to be respectful of me, to understand that I overthink and have anxiety so I need patience, and to go out more with things that interest me (he always only did dates at coffee shops to draw-something he likes to do and drink). We got back together in the middle of November because I fell for his words and promises. He was finally showing me what I wanted. More of the same issues arose. He communicated a bit better but he still didn’t respect a lot about my life. I have to take medications daily and he would keep me from my responsibilities. He spends carelessly and sometimes I would have to pay for the things he wanted to do not respecting the budget I set for myself. I tell him these things and he gets offended and frustrated. Sometimes arguments escalate and he just storms out and ignores me. Sometimes I try to stop him so we could actually get somewhere but he grabs me and throws me to the side. He doesn’t make me feel wanted or loved. He doesn’t make me happy. We’ve discussed this and he says I’m difficult and that he’ll try but that I need to change how sensitive I am. I am conflicted because I know I don’t want to be alone. I know I deserve better and want better. I don’t want to wait around anymore. I just don’t know how to let go. I don’t know how to let people go. My therapist says it’s because my mom left me when I was little. I reminisce on the good times and hold on to those memories instead of the bad ones. I become ignorant to what’s going on for the sake of not losing someone else. I’m getting older and wants like settling down, getting married, having kids, all cross my mind and I know they are something I want sooner rather than later. I want him to prove he really wants me and will change so we could be happy. I just don’t know if that’s ever going to happen. If it’s even worth it. My anxiety makes it hard to be without somebody especially after getting so accustomed to them. I don’t know what to do.