Relationships now vs later?

When people get into relationship, it is normal to think about what the future holds. I mean, after all what exactly is the goal of being in a relationship? To build a family etc etc right?

Me on the other hand, never thought about that anymore. Not after what happened in my past relationship.
So, I met this guy over a year ago and I know if I think about our future, it won't work because we both live in completely different worlds but for now, we are so great together. I dont want to think about what's gonna happen later because honestly, I dont even know what's gonna happen to me in say, 2-3 hours from now? Lol.. And I don't want the thought of tomorrow stops me from being happy today. He thinks it won't be fair for both of us. I said, when the time comes, we deal with it. In the meantime, why can't we be the way we are and just be happy? Live in the now I always say.

I don't want to spend my life thinking about "what ifs" or "if only" and let my fear and worry control me of being happy and in love.

Am I making any sense at all? Lol 😀

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SW-User

no. you cant live a life that hasnt happened... i never want kids. theres too many bad people out there for me to want to add to that. marriage isnt about having kids.. you can have kids outside of marriage.. marriage is about choosing to stay with a person, instead of just having flings with many people. the reason a lot of marriages dont work is the amount of selfish behaviors a lot of people have. of coarse theres also crazy psycho people too, narcissist and control freaks aswell as too many people who just cheat on their spouse. and then theres the addictions that ruin relationships as well. marriage is like a friendship some work and some dont or people just drift apart. you date people and see if you click with anyone. when you marry hopefully you marry a good friend and not someone who is just faking the relationship. relationships are hard. it takes work and compromise. if you dont nurture it. it dies.

PaintedVeil · 41-45, F

What im trying to say is that a lot of people getting into relationships for the idea of marriage and eventually kids. But then people change... Those who were once so in love are now nemesis.
All Im saying I dont like thinking about the future. I prefer to focus on what I have now. Most girls seem to have different opinion about this though.

SW-User

nah.. the what ifs are just delusional thinking and hopeful thinking. the only thing real is the here and now.

PaintedVeil · 41-45, F

@theowl: here and now :) you got it.

FunReader55 · 51-55, M

@PaintedVeil: not all, i know many many confident, powerful, women, but many women view the husband slot as fillable by any warm male body willing to take it. then adopt all of his interests as her own and drop all of hers. while it might seem a bit diatomic to maintain one's individuality at the exact moment of starting a new union but nothing could be further from the truth. you each stay who you are but just join as partners. and wow is that a lot of words!! I've been up for almost 40 hour. and i'm not a doctor!! i just have a crazy ass sister in law that forces me to learn this shit!! lol!!