I'm okay with this.

I've been hurting for a week. My emotions have been out of control. But once my anger subsided, selfishness gone, I saw this situation in a new light. She's living with her friend's family, learning how to cook, has a beautiful place for her to relax and for her dog. She's in paradise, in rehab from smoking, and now she's taking online courses. She loves her life and has a sense of belonging, she's an orphan, having a sense of family is important to her.

I'm actually happy to partake in the process of getting her there. Helping her during the hardest times to hang on because unbeknownst to me, there's heaven at the end of the tunnel we walked through.

But that's probably where our closeness ends. She has no interest to begin a life together, why would she after being battle weary? She has what/whom she needs most right now and that's perfectly okay. I love her dearly, and I'm okay with this.

Besides, I haven't lost her completely. She wants to remain in touch, still so sweet to me, and I love her so much...it's good enough knowing she's out there happy as a lark. One day we'll meet again, our lives intertwining, or not...and I'm okay with this.