there's the old addage if you want to know how a man will treat you look at how he treats his mother but i's shit and here's why.

@Fungirlmmm I love my mother but my god damn sister is giving me shit for having any other priority in my life at all other than making sure she make it through this pandemic.

I have classwork I need to get done and I got fed and then bamboolzed to run about a half dozen errands around town and then at the tail end to go the store which was never part of the agreement in the first place and so mom let me off the hook and told me I could walk home so I did and my fucking sister came in and asked me to explain where she was and I had to tell her she's at the store and she was like you walked home? you're such a dick.

My sister is an emotionally abusive person the same way my father was she's just venom laced dagger's all the fucking time and she knows how to get under people's skins to a much greater extent than her father ever did.

I mean how dare I have anything else to do other than go shopping for her...

she has no priority at all other than making sure mom doesn't get sick or do too much housework and have a heartattack, that's like the center of her personal universe.
.
I have other things that need to be done. those things I need done have deadlines. I cannot be handling all this shit and get through this in one piece.

@Fungirlmmm if nicole didn't want something like that to happen she should have gone with us in the first place... But nooooo....

@PDXNative1986 Sounds like your mom loves you. Your sister may also just be worried. I know that I'm worried for my mom and I have a compromised immune system but I mask up and glove up to go pick up groceries for my parents and myself. I would do it for my guys parents too but they are long distance from me.

@Fungirlmmm Not to mention she's spending every waking second of her life with mom since dad died I haven't been able to even get in there because it's uncomfortable in mom's room when nicoles in bed with her.

and she doesn't have to pay anything to live here, and she doesn't even do the laundry often enough in spite of it being HER assingnment of the chores.

@PDXNative1986 Why is she in bed with her?

@Fungirlmmm IDFK. She's sad dad's gone so she wants to cling to mom I guess.

@PDXNative1986 I'm sorry. Maybe you guys could get mom a king size bed or get a chair for each side of the bed. I love my mom but I sure don't want to sleep with her or my dad.

@Fungirlmmm she literally decided to crawl out of bed and walk to the store so now i'm all alone....

@Fungirlmmm I'm tired of both of sibblings acting like they love mom more than me when i'm closer to her than either of them...

When dad was still here she was always held up in her room but now that he's gone oh nooooo suddenly she wants to use her laptop on moms bed.

@Fungirlmmm My mother abused me and would be doing it to this day if she could. She hates men and I don't care for her. The funny thing is I think her abuse made me a more loving person, especially to women. I have my issues but I treat any woman I have a relationship with very well. That's one thing they all say about me. In fact, I'm often too nice.

@PDXNative1986 you have quite an unusual family. I mean no disrespect but I try to be honest. I can see my mom moving in with me if she had nowhere to go but I would rather foot the bill for her rent before that happens. I just can't see me living in my parents' home as long as I can care for myself. Maybe you would have better relations if you didn't live under the same roof.

@quitwhendone I'm glad you were able to overcome the abuse. Many can't do that so I applaud you.

@Fungirlmmm I know that fungirl that's why I'm in college.

because just getting a job like my fucking critics and your mother's basement assholes keep laughing at me types is not going to get me a pad of my own or a car or make the car payment it won't even pay rent yet alone groceries on top of all that.

I need a career if I am ever going to get out of here. I am a late bloomer.

@Fungirlmmm Thank you, though I don't think I have overcome it. It's just that my anger is directed to one, single person and no one else.

@PDXNative1986 I'm not criticizing you at all. I think you know from past conversations I'm not like that at all. I was trying to figure out a way to make your problem better. It sounds like you have a plan in place to get out on your own. So in about 4 years or less you should be free and maybe able to help your mom out more too so she won't be trapped and dependent on your sister.

@quitwhendone Can you confront that person and get closure? Do you feel you need closure?

@Fungirlmmm Well she was dependent on dad and dad abused the crap out of both of us but was nice to my sister who believe me is mourning him far more than either of us ever will. Neither of us is happy he's gone but we know the pressure is off....
the part irritating me is that nicole is essentially piling more pressure on.

She's playing the same sorts of manipulative tricks he used to to make me doubt myself and think i'm insane.

like I was the last one in the shower and there's a crack in the floor Ergo it's settled in her mind that I must have used the shower irresponsibly and it's my fault. Mom doesn't blame me because she knows the floor in there is older than moses and not the kind of old that last centuries because homes were built to last like they were like 70 years ago....

just old, old and was never quality in the first place.

my dad gaslit the ever living fuck out of me.

@Fungirlmmm Well, that's the problem. She never has and never will admit to any fault at all. My sisters and I can't sit down and have a logical conversation with her. In her defense, I think she was also abused. We've begged her to seek therapy but she refuses.

@Fungirlmmm I wasn't accusing you of being one of my critics. You're fucking amazing. I've ALWAYS admired you. If you were not so much older than me I would have WANTED you for my own and been intensely jealous of your partner. Totally! You are a keeper a real genuine sweetie! But honestly I don't need to be reminded this isn't normal. I know that...

@PDXNative1986 If it is a smaller crack go online and get some marine epoxy and some sand paper... it won't fix it permanently but if there is a crack it is going to leak into the subflooring and the crawl space and it will eventually rot out the floor. So you have to rough it up and fill the crack with the epoxy and let it cure. Once it is dry you can sand and glaze the tub if you want. It will be butt ugly without the glaze but at least it will minimize further damage for awhile. Also you have to crawl under and make sure the floor and framing is intact. You don't want to fall through. You really need a plumber though.

@PDXNative1986 I understand. I just didn't want you to feel piled on. I try to help when I can. I think I might have a tube of marine epoxy left. I'm not sure what the mailing guidelines are and how long it is unable but I'll go down to the barn tomorrow and see if it is still in my tack room.

@Fungirlmmm I honestly think of you as my mom from EP.... lol.. Althoughwe don't talk often enough....

I'm well aware of how things typically go and don't stop by unless something is bothering me usually but you never complain about that. Truly.

Better than many of us. Many people would be angry with me for the way i've treated you but not you.

@PDXNative1986 Anger is a wasteful emotion. I can channel my energy into more productive things. You are sweet for thinking of me. I try to be kind to other people and if I can help my listening and throwing a little advice and caring your way then I'm happy to do that.