Is it ever a good idea to be friends with your ex?

@Peaches Hello there. People are still reading this post and responding after about a year. I agree that divorce can be rough on the kids. When I had a 5 year old daughter and a 12 month old son I suspected my wife of fooling around with another fellow. She made an avid denial but the evidence seemed overwhelming so I kept on prompting. She moved out abruptly and moved in with the prime suspect on the very same day. I became a weekend parent for the next 15 or so years and paid generous child support from my wages until both of my kids finished school, got a good job, moved away from home and started to support themselves. After our house was sold I paid her half what I got for it to be fair to her, and said goodbye to be fair to me. It turns out that mr wonderful was not ready for the ball and chain and dumped her shortly after she had a baby to him showing no more respect for his own child than he had for mine. I have little reason to see her these days now that our two children have grown up. Any veiled reference she makes to getting back together again at least for the sake of our 'friendship' strikes me as devious and insincere. It's never too late to talk [b]if both prties want to[/b], but for 15 years she met me at her front door with the children's overnight bag packed and her hand out waiting for a child support payment. It's all over now. I got her signature for every penny I paid her and moved on with my life.

@will999 So many stories like this. They say we live on a "learning planet," I wonder why we have such painful lessons?😞🥀

@Peaches I wonder too. They say what goes around, comes around. One thought I could not escape is that we both spring from disfunctional families. We both have parents who divorced in troubling circumstances when we were 5 yo or younger. Children need to develop in a stable environment or they never learn how to love with faith, hope and perseverance. Also the popular notion that teenage weddings are romantic is nonsense. From what I have seen of them, they're usually as romantic as a train smash. Couples who date for a long time say, 5 years before making a final commitment have time to learn each others likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, habits, moods and general approach to life as a whole. If they still want to get married knowing all of that, the likelihood of the marriage being happy and lasting is much greater. Also if your parents are still happy after 20 or more years together that improves your chances of doing the same. Nothing succeeds like success.

@will999 I've read about "happy ever after" in stories before.🤓

@Peaches A relationshp does not need to be perfect to succeed but in order to have half a chance both parties need to be realistic, be ready and able to deal with life on life's terms. This is how we assess maturity. Speaking only for myself now, I was too young to get married at 22. I am not sure what my EX. would say about that today. At the age of 24 when she walked out, she refused to talk about it. Today there is very little to talk about. We're both a bit older and wiser now, but what's done is done. [b]Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart[/b]. Do I sound pedantic to you? Are you married?

@will999 No, you sound fine and much wiser. 22 is too young in my opinion to start a family, of course many have but only a handful stay together that young. Kids can either "make or break" a marriage. Unfortunately wisdom only comes with age. No, I don't get married anymore, haha!😄⭐