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My Ex From 8 Years Ago Still Watches My Social Media, Does It Mean Anything? (Please Read)

[b][c=#009E4F]A little background story on the relationship and how it ended:[/c][/b]

I was in a long distance relationship at some point with a guy whom I thought was the absolute greatest love of my life. We met on social media in 2009, and we got together in 2010. He resided in Florida and I would always fly down to stay with him for weeks even months at a time. It was beautiful, fun, great vibes. We did everything together. I met his family and he met mine. The way he made me feel, til this day no man compares.

I don’t know what happened in 2011, but I noticed a shift in his behavior. Always in his thoughts, plenty of zoned out stares into space when lying next to me. I’d ask if everything was okay and he would say it is. Maybe it was us being young and him realizing how serious a relationship is, it couldve been his mother (who didn’t seem too fond of me dating her son), it could’ve been another woman, who knows. But was quite a bad breakup in 2011.

It was an abrupt breakup, he waited until I got all the way on a plane, made my way back to New York to tell me over the phone he didn’t want a relationship anymore.

I begged, pleaded, cried for hours on the phone asking him why? He was cold and vague. His mind was made up. Weeks later, I eventually gave up seeking answers that he obviously didn’t want to answer. All he said was he didn’t want it anymore and he wasn’t in love with me anymore. (Yep, it was that cold)

For the remainder of that month I lost quite a bit of weight. I was depressed. Unable to work, unable to eat, always crying, still hurting.

Years went by and I still didn’t quite get over it. In my mind of course I did but internally I don’t think I’ve healed from it.

I would still fantasize from time to time about us getting back together, him apologizing for leaving me, admitting to needing some time
to grow as a man, to us finally getting married and having children some day.

Of course that didn’t happen. Instead he finds me on social media in 2016, writes me on Facebook messenger to tell me how “great I look”. Doesn’t offer any closure or anything. I did write back but our convos were very short and mundane. Typical “how’s life?” Conversations. Nothing about the break up. I most certainly didn’t want to break the ice and ask him why things went the way they did, out of fear of still appearing hurt. He would still contact me sometime to say hey or let me know he was either coming to my city. [i]At that point I wasn’t as invested or interested because it seemed too little, too late.[/i]

[i]Fast forward to the end of 2019, he has his first baby with a highschool girlfriend.

In 2020, he still watches my snapchat stories.

I do..not..get it.

[b]Why is he doing this if he’s moved on??[/b] [/i]
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Carissimi · 70-79, F
The main thing is that he [i]has[/i] moved on. He has a baby with another woman, and only engages in small talk with you. It’s probably nothing more than curiosity on his part. Believe me, when a man wants you, you know it. So, as much as our heart and mind want to believe that they still hold some special feeling for us, and want us back, they don’t. It took me 5-years of heartbreak to heal and realize this truth.
You need to move on, and let him go.
Mrowe718 · 41-45, F
@Carissimi all these years I thought I have healed but I probably haven’t. Of course I’ve been in other relationships after him, loved and lost, but he still plagues my mind. It’s annoying because I do want to let go, but how does one know that they’ve truly healed and moved on?
Carissimi · 70-79, F
You know when you no longer desire to be with him. It can take years. Mine did. Just try and live your best life, and accept that you may still love him. Don’t fight it. Just accept, but create distance from him, as in block him. As long as you have this connection, it will be harder for you to heal. @Mrowe718