How do I tell a woman I was in jail before?

@bijouxbroussard Why? I would think a domestic violence charge at a young age might mean the person was a child and made an immature decision. Someone at an older age with a charge like that should know much better and therefore it should be more worrying

@bijouxbroussard What does it matter? It’s not like I’m going to get a woman to be with me if they know my past.

@Shell And clearly, he shouldn’t worry. As you’ve just illustrated, there will always be some women who will find a way [b]not[/b] to see any red flags. He didn’t go into the circumstances and with you, he wouldn’t have had to—you have an excuse ready.

@VulcanGalaxy Why wouldnt a woman be with you if you showed her genuinely thats not who you are

@VulcanGalaxy That sounds like no counseling. Don’t worry, some women don’t care what you might’ve done to anyone else. 🙄

@Shell Love after Lockup is an example of how gullible some women are.

@bijouxbroussard What excuse did I give him? If youre five and you want a cookie and you know youre not suppose to take it because mommy told you not to, but you want that cookie and you stole it. When your mommy finds out is she to paint you as thief forever and all your life?

@bijouxbroussard But did he did do it to anyone else?

@bijouxbroussard How guillible and narrow minded can you be to judge someone based off a mistake.
Let me make this clear. Im not trying to excuse what he did. Im not saying its not serious. It sounds to me at 17 he is a boy that was immature and stupid. You want to judge a child of an error for the rest his life. Thats very closed minded

@Shell Stealing cookies are not generally considered “domestic violence”. For someone to go to [b]jail[/b], even briefly, do you consider the possibility that there was an injury ? And that’s why I asked about [b]counseling[/b]. I had a friend who beat up his stepfather (and the guy deserved it). That was a “domestic violence” call. My friend wouldn’t have been violent under any other circumstances. But wouldn’t you want to [b]know[/b] it was a situation like that, rather than someone who slapped a girlfriend around ? You jumped right in, defending this fellow, when I simply asked for context.

@Shell Here’s a hint: Everybody says they’ve changed. I just wanted to know how. Counseling is considered a productive way of working towards getting past a bad situation.

@bijouxbroussard Counseling? Someone doesn't have to go to counseling to change. I think you're blowing this out of proportion. It's not like he was a serial child rapist. We don't even know the facts here.

@Shapeshifter guys seriously I’m not worth fighting over.

@bijouxbroussard Im not trying to equate stealing cookies to going to jail. I was trying to get YOU to not to judge a person base one thing. And yes you judged. You were more ready to give him "pause" or throw him under the bus, rather than consider the situation. Again Im not saying what he did was right. It was very wrong. Im just saying if he really has changed and it was a mistake he needs to seriously explain and show that to one he is dating.

@VulcanGalaxy What are the facts? Was it an isolated incident or not? What made you do What you did?

@Shapeshifter it doesn’t matter. What has been done is done.

@Shapeshifter I asked a question based on what the OP said. A woman whom I wasn’t speaking to, jumped in to defend the OP. I wasn’t attacking him in the first place, but I consider domestic violence a serious thing. If you consider yourself a Christian as you like to claim, how is that “blowing things out of proportion” ?

@bijouxbroussard Forgiveness is a huge concept in Christianity. No one is perfect. If he has changed, what he did in his past doesn't matter. He has been absolved of any wrongdoing.

@Shell We all make judgements—or we should. That’s how we determine who or what might be dangerous to us. I make [i][b]no[/b][/i] apologies for that.

@Shapeshifter Yes, I’ve seen the posts where you’ve been so forgiving of folks here. 😅

@bijouxbroussard This is why how we say things are important. I make this mistake many times. Please know Im not trying to attack you. I jumped in as you say because I thought your first post was a little unfair. Although we disagree, other than part where you called me guillable and I replied in kind, I hope you will see its rather a friendly disagreement

I just don’t trust myself around women because of what I did.

@VulcanGalaxy well, in that case, @bijouxbroussard was right. You do need counseling.

@Shell My reply to him was an honest one. I’ve volunteered at women’s shelters, I’ve had both friends and family members who have dealt with domestic abuse. It’s not a [i][b]joke[/b][/i]. And I’ve seen women make excuses, the way you’ve been doing. You may’ve meant well, but you escalated this. I asked the OP a question based upon literally [b]years[/b] of seeing things like this.

@bijouxbroussard Ive typed more than once that what he did was wrong. I KNOW its not a joke. You asked your question but you made a statement I think is very wrong. Its not worse if he is younger, its would be worse if he was older and this was a recurring situation within his relationships. Thats not me making excuses for him. Not because you work at shelters makes you right about this situation.