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Is he a narcissist or suffer from Aspergers?

I am talking to a guy who is one of the only guys I haven’t been able to figure out. He is so confusing. When we first met, he was head over heels for me, to the point where it was almost too much. He’d write me essays everyday about his feelings for me etc. He was super sweet and sent me flowers. On one of our dates he mentioned to me that his father made him go to the shrink a couple times because he thought he had Aspergers. He never confirmed if he did or not and I didn’t want to ask or make a big deal of it. He says he doesn’t believe in labels. He seems normal to me, but is a little odd in some ways but none that would make me for sure know he was on the spectrum. However, he does seem to lack empathy and even admits to it. However, with me he shows so much feelings (when he’s in the mood). He is very cold to the world and doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. The world seems to revolve around him in his mind, where he is the only thing that matters. He suffers anxiety and ADD, and I think depression as well. Hes got a drinking problem now that he blames on being deployed in Cuba because he can’t stand the place. He’s also very impulsive and will obsess over something for a while and then drop it and lose interest. Anyways, after 2 months of him being over the top into me, he started being the opposite towards me, more cold and matter of fact. A complete 180. He wasn’t mean or didn’t stop talking to me, it just was more dry than before and he blames it on the stress. Every now and then he will get in random moods again where he’s super into me like at the beginning but they only last a couple of days then he’s back to being distant and cold. It’s so confusing how someone can say they feel a way about u and act that way towards u and then the next day act like they never meant any of that. Again, he blames the stress and his irritation with the place he’s staying over seas, he says he doesn’t mean to take it out on me. I can’t seem to tell if he really does have Aspergers or if it’s just narcissism. He also, has a lot of hate for other people and doesn’t like to socialize or being in loud crowded places. He’s very blunt and rude to others and doesnt care. He has a few friends but not many and doesn’t like to socialize much. What do you guys think?
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I get really ugly girls being desperate enough to hang onto a train wreck because it beat having no one...........but not you. Why struggle with trying to figure out a loser...........hang onto the hope it will get better with him? From your looks...your description of your career and your success in life.......MOVE ON. There's about 10 million normal guys out there that would think it was Christmas everyday if they had you.
Graylight · 51-55, F
@anythingoes477 Funny. I guess 'loser' is more loosely defined than I thought...
@Graylight I never thought of it being loosely defined..or tightly defined. I just look at it as......if the other is less than what I want for myself..what i deserve for myself...........that person goes into the loss column.
Graylight · 51-55, F
@anythingoes477 I was referring to your characterization of women.
@Graylight ?? You have to have known someone who was soooooooooooooo desperate to have a man they ate a mile of crap...let themselves be treated like a doormat...just so they could say "I have a man". Who don't? That's not a "characterization"......it's simply calling a spade a spade. Anymore if people hear truth they act like the person saying it is horrible.
Graylight · 51-55, F
@anythingoes477 more specifically, it was yours implication that it's largely ugly women who act like this. I can tell you one of the gender, this is far from true. It was an unfortunate mischaracterization.
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@Graylight If Marilyn Monroe acted like a doormat...she's be "ugly". I think maybe you're a bit to anxious to get offended...about something.
@JasonFisher [image]