What would your tinder about me section read?

"On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a conversation. He made small talk, a lonely man talking about the weather and other things. I tried to be pleasant and accommodating, but my head hurt from his banality. I almost didn't notice it had happened, but I suddenly threw up all over him. He was not pleased, and I couldn't stop laughing."

This is a fake profile. Someone obviously doesn't know me well enough to know I wouldn't date anyone on within a 500 mile radius maybe lol

"Here to date, not one night stands."
And some inane stuff like a couple of my favorite bands and movies, what I like. 🤷‍♀️

Bum sex extraordinaire

Big boobs and a big brain, what more could you want? 😂