One for the guys

I agree with others who say we don't have nearly enough information. But I'll offer you two quick thoughts...

A. Generally speaking, men are encouraged to bury emotions - with one exception. Anger. Men are allowed to be angry, and we often bottle up everything until it all explodes in a burst of anger. You know him better than any of us, of course. Just be careful and be aware of any signs that he might be angry. It has the potential to be dangerous for you. (Again, this is a HUGE generalization.)

B. Are you on strong financial footing? Do you have your own bank account, for example, or do you only have a joint account? I ask because it's also possible that he has decided ending the marriage is the best course of action. And if all of your money is tied up into a joint account, he can wipe you out before he leaves. Again, I'm not saying he will. I don't know him (obviously), so I can't say what's in his mind or in his heart. But as above, be careful; take some precautions as best as possible to make sure you can take care of yourself at least in the sort term.

Actually, one more point. I would like to strongly recommend counseling for you both. This almost certainly has a lot of emotion and baggage to unpack for both of you, and the best and safest way to do that is with a neutral professional. That said, if he won't attend marriage counseling with you then please go on your own. He or she will be able to help you sort through your feelings and thoughts to help you make sense of them all.

Good luck!

the more you tell him about it the more real it becomes for him, and the harder it becomes for him to process it

This depends. How did he find out?
How strong is your relationship.
How physical is it?
How much do you 2 fight?
How long have you w been married?
How far di your relationship.with the other guy go?
Were there others?
How attentive is he to you?
These answers may give insight sight to his frame of mind.

He just wants to forget about it most likely

maybe he just had enough and doesn't care anymore

Too many variables. How is he acting towards you?
Like it never happened might mean he feels evened up.
Like you arent around means he has checked out and preparing to move on.

That's a tough call. Do you think it could be that he's comfortable and confident enough with his relationship with you that he's just not worried about it?

I dated a girl once who said if I ever cheated, a one time thing, she didnt want to know. That it would be my need to unburden and not her need to know that I would be helping.

Just a kiss?

Were you hoping for a reaction? Did the lack of an agry reaction made you justify it by that he probably cheated himself? He's obviously disappointed in you without wanting to wase energy into it.

Maybe he dont want to give you that much attention. If he think you may enjoy the attention he wont give it to you like a puppet

Probably the last one. And no I wouldn't want the details either.

just because we dont need the details, does nt mean it did nt hurt😕

He is probably afraid to find out it's his best friend

Maybe he has fumbled in the past and knows he can't condemn you. But like the other people posted who knows what is in his head

You shouldn’t be judging him. You’re the one who did wrong, not him. People can express their feelings in different ways. Just be thankful he has accepted you even after what happened in the past.

Can't say what's in his head, but I'd say he's probably more hurt than anything and trying to process it.

You seem to like to talk about it I'm sure he finds that more irritating than the one kiss. Drop it now.

Depends doesn't it...were you married, how long ago was it and how did you feel?

Was it when he was your bf or husband or what?

He likes it?

Did you ever stop to think that your husband was getting aroused by the idea of you kissing another guy?

My thought is just that he doesn't really want to know any further information because it hurts to think about. It doesn't really matter who it was or how it happened, just that it DID happen.