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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
You can't do this without causing pain. Give up that idea because it's just not possible.
It's like taking off a bandaid. Faster is better. Delaying it only makes it worse. Have enough respect for her to assume she can, eventually, find someone who can appreciate her as you cannot.
Pick a place that is not her home or yours. Let it be a place with a little privacy, but also has some people around. A park is good. Or a private booth in an uncrowded restaurant.
Tell her: "You are the kind of woman who can make some man very happy. But I have figured out that I am not that man.It's over, Zelda. I will always wish you the best."
Expect arguments, tears, maybe even a major scene. Do not say anything. Do not argue with her or answer her. Just listen or observe. Give it a set amount of time. 3-5 minutes is good. When she has vented for a few minutes, wait until she stops or pauses and then say:
"Zelda, I can see how strongly you feel about this. Nevertheless, it's over."
If she keeps on crying, arguing, guilt tripping you, get up and say:
" I never meant to hurt you. I see a great future ahead for you...but not with me. Goodbye, Zelda."
Leave and do not contact her. If you are concerned or worried because you fear she might hurt herself (or she has threatened to do so) then phone a friend or relative of hers to come and help as you leave or right afterward. If she has no one to help, do not stick around and try to act as her therapist. Call a local suicide hotline or other emergency service.
End contact. Remember the bandaid analogy. Most people are stronger than we think (or they think). Give her a chance to find somebody who will appreciate her.
It's like taking off a bandaid. Faster is better. Delaying it only makes it worse. Have enough respect for her to assume she can, eventually, find someone who can appreciate her as you cannot.
Pick a place that is not her home or yours. Let it be a place with a little privacy, but also has some people around. A park is good. Or a private booth in an uncrowded restaurant.
Tell her: "You are the kind of woman who can make some man very happy. But I have figured out that I am not that man.It's over, Zelda. I will always wish you the best."
Expect arguments, tears, maybe even a major scene. Do not say anything. Do not argue with her or answer her. Just listen or observe. Give it a set amount of time. 3-5 minutes is good. When she has vented for a few minutes, wait until she stops or pauses and then say:
"Zelda, I can see how strongly you feel about this. Nevertheless, it's over."
If she keeps on crying, arguing, guilt tripping you, get up and say:
" I never meant to hurt you. I see a great future ahead for you...but not with me. Goodbye, Zelda."
Leave and do not contact her. If you are concerned or worried because you fear she might hurt herself (or she has threatened to do so) then phone a friend or relative of hers to come and help as you leave or right afterward. If she has no one to help, do not stick around and try to act as her therapist. Call a local suicide hotline or other emergency service.
End contact. Remember the bandaid analogy. Most people are stronger than we think (or they think). Give her a chance to find somebody who will appreciate her.
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
Wow
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Lol!
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
Mondayschild · F
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
Somebodys gonna get a hurt real bad! :-D
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@Jiraiya429 But you are already hurting as it is. And, most likely, she is, too.
sunsetsoareomyofavourite · 26-30, F
Relationships are just shit and it always hurts if you get out of it. How do you even want to avoid it? My ex boyfriend hurt me so much too.
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
I am happy to see you fine. Live your life.. You will get someone who truely loves you. Forget that piece of shit.
Sacron22 · 56-60, M
You can't. Just cut it off quickly and do not let it linger.
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
Difficult. Can't see her suffer. Also the situation we are in.. I think I will end up marrying her!
Sacron22 · 56-60, M
Thanks for the heart @Sacron22:
MenzernaSF4000 · 36-40, M
Our sun shine aren't compatible, it's not working out.😶
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
Aidan · 26-30, F
Doesn't exist it will hurt
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
Better bear with her my entire life and somehow make it work than hurt her?
Aidan · 26-30, F
@Jiraiya429: i didn't say that but if you leave its going to hurt her and you. Do whats best for you
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@Jiraiya429 By leaving her, you are indicating that she is basically strong enough to make it without you and attractive enough to find love, real love, again. Give her a chance to find someone who WANTS to be with her, not someone who tolerates her because she would not be wanted by anyone. By staying, you are probably robbing her, and someone else, of their chance to find lasting love and joy.
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
Fake your death
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Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
She knows my family and friends.. She has played it well!
YMITheWayIM · 46-50, M
"you deserve better"
Jiraiya429 · 31-35, M
This one wont work with her. Haha
Peaches · F
Well you must be married by now.🤣