This post may contain Mildly Adult content.
Mildly Adult
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Am I the asshole for being upset at my boyfriend?

AITA for being upset with my boyfriend right now? I’m 18F and he’s 21M. Generally speaking our relationship is amazing. And no i am not breaking up with him yet.

In the past month we’ve both been very stressed. For him, he’s had financial issues, and he’s not happy at his job. His job required him to be gone out of town for 2 weeks straight and he absolutely hated it.

I’ve only seen him twice in the past month, with how busy he’s been and how he was gone. The first time I saw him for only 2 hours. The second time he took me for a very wonderful date. That was 2 weeks ago.

I haven’t seen him since, and there’s some issues I tried to bring up. We haven’t been intimate in a month, and that includes cuddling, and while I know it’s because he’s busy, it’s still something that needs fixing. I haven’t been to his new place yet (he moved about a month ago), which doesn’t make me feel that great. I’ve had a relapse with my anxiety lately which has resulted in extra insecurities. In addition, when I tried to bring these issues/concerns up, he completely dismissed them as immaturity, before I could say anything. That’s the first time he has ever said anything like that, and he apologized but I want to make it clear it’s absolutely not to happen again, ever. He told me we could talk about when he got home.

The past 10 days he was gone out of town again, this time for a wedding. He got back two days ago.

He hasn’t mentioned wanting to see me or when can I see you or ANYTHING. I KNOW he’s super super stressed, but this still doesn’t feel that great! I just want him to ask... I haven’t seen him in two weeks. And we have stuff to talk about, and HE KNOWS THAT.

AITA if I get upset at him for not asking/trying to make plans to see me? It’s not like I care WHEN I see him, it can be in 5 days or 2. But it’s that he hasn’t made the effort to ask. Maybe he’s avoiding this conversation because he’s so stressed? I tried to remind him again last night and he just said sorry, but I’ve been super stressed lately and trying to figure out what to do with my life, and it’s making me depressed.

Like yeah, I get it, life sucks. But... he has a stable job, he has a home, he’s had time off. It’s not like things haven’t been hard for me too! My relapse was super bad (I’m better now). And he has me, too... he can talk to me about anything but he chooses not to most of the time. Aren’t my concerns about our relationship valid too??? He can’t ignore them forever.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
Platinum · M
You seem to be making excuses for him, he don't sound stressed to me, he seems to be having fun and enjoying himself and not being the sort of guy you deserve...next time he wants to see you, tell him you're busy, that way you will see if he is interested...I don't think he is..
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
@Platinum HeZ 21 FFS
northphotograph · 26-30, F
All I’m saying is what he’s told me, which is that he’s depressed and super stressed... I always tell him he can talk to me about anything but he doesn’t. @Platinum
Platinum · M
@DonaldTrumpet so....I was married before I was 21, it's obvious he's cheating and why would he be stressed at 21
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
@Platinum MenZ Be OkAYZ TakinGz New PoUnaNi.
U shUDz TrYZ SuMZ yoselFz Sum timEZ. BUUTz rememebrZ U GetZ WhOTz U PayZ foRZ
northphotograph · 26-30, F
He’s not cheating... he hates his job, he had to move because he couldn’t afford rent, etc. @Platinum
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
@northphotograph HeZ prollYz GoTZ AnothERz GirLZ On SidEZ
Platinum · M
@northphotograph sometimes guys use different excuses if they are cheating or bored with their relationship...you deserve better
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
@Platinum he DeserVeZ to haZ GuDz PoUNanI ThaTZ NOTz MoanYz
Platinum · M
@northphotograph hope your right, but why won't he even cuddle you...
northphotograph · 26-30, F
I haven’t been back to his new place yet we’ve just been out on dates @Platinum
Platinum · M
I've only told you what I know from experience but I'm not an expert...@northphotograph