What would you think here?
Separated from husband last April, both have new partners. Yesterday he posted a photo of our 7 yr old cuddling up to his girlfriend on facebook and saved it as his profile photo. We are not yet divorced.
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Northwest · M
Last April, as in this past month? A few weeks ago two separated?
Northwest · M
@Jenni855 OK, so you've been separated for more than a year. Personally, I think people should not start dating, as in for the purpose of finding a partner, for at least a year after their divorce is final.
Introducing your daughter to his new GF, when you have not divorced, is a serious error of judgment on his part, but should not really have a negative effect on your daughter, unless the roles have not been clarified. His GF is not her mother, you are, and she has no role in raising her.
If you're negotiating custody issues, you may want to pay close attention to the kids' situation, vis-a-vis romantic partners. Make sure your daughter understands that you are her mother, and that any time she spends with her dad's GF, alone, is at YOUR discretion, and make sure he understands that.
Also, make sure he understands you're doing this out of concern for your child, and not to spite him (or because you have not gotten over him). Right?
Introducing your daughter to his new GF, when you have not divorced, is a serious error of judgment on his part, but should not really have a negative effect on your daughter, unless the roles have not been clarified. His GF is not her mother, you are, and she has no role in raising her.
If you're negotiating custody issues, you may want to pay close attention to the kids' situation, vis-a-vis romantic partners. Make sure your daughter understands that you are her mother, and that any time she spends with her dad's GF, alone, is at YOUR discretion, and make sure he understands that.
Also, make sure he understands you're doing this out of concern for your child, and not to spite him (or because you have not gotten over him). Right?
Northwest · M
@Jenni855 It seems as if he's very involve in his daughter's life. That's a good thing, and something you should encourage. He's also got a partner, who's also intimately involved in his life. These two things will intersect, and in the age of social media, you're a witness to that intersection.
His partner may not want to be a mother to your daughter, but a partner to your husband, and in that role, anything she does to be on the good side of your daughter, is great for the overall dynamic. As long as the partner understands that she is not the mom. Some people don't respect that line.
Are you sure he's doing this to spite you, and it's not just a reaction you're having to the complexities of divorce, and the feeling that you're losing partial control over what once was your exclusive domain?
His partner may not want to be a mother to your daughter, but a partner to your husband, and in that role, anything she does to be on the good side of your daughter, is great for the overall dynamic. As long as the partner understands that she is not the mom. Some people don't respect that line.
Are you sure he's doing this to spite you, and it's not just a reaction you're having to the complexities of divorce, and the feeling that you're losing partial control over what once was your exclusive domain?
Jenni855 · 36-40, F
He thinks I am a crap mother and that she is the second coming of Christ. I just think its totally inappropriate and insensitive to do this so early on. I wouldn't post a photo of my new partner with our child on facebook. Not at this stage. I guess he is only making himself look immature and spiteful. I will rise above it