Is it too soon to break up with my boyfriend?
Alrighty, I'm making a new question so I can include the whole story.
We met when I was looking for a snowboarding coach. We hit it off immediately and things started out great. He was more patient with me, and more respectful, than anyone I'd met. We didn't have any fights. He was all that I'd been looking for.
One month in, he has a brief period of hesitation where he gets a little distant and says he's not sure what he wants, but he picks me in the end. We continue forward and this one wasn't a big deal at all; just new relationship doubts, you know?
Two months in, he suddenly said to me that he wasn't over his ex fiancee (who he left over a year ago). I almost broke up with him but he said he was willing to try to move past it, and so we stayed together. He hadn't cheated on me or been talking to her, and I ultimately chalked it up to feeling guilty for moving on. A month later and things have been better than ever! We're going on dates, I've spend the night a couple times, he's more attentive, kind, and affectionate than ever. I see him once or twice a week, and we lead separate friend and work lives, as well as hobbies.
Thursday, he tells me he loves me. I say it back, but I'd been waiting for him to say it first. I've been copying his level of affection, giving him the space necessary to ensure he really was over his ex, that he wanted to be with me, etc. And he really took the chance I gave him, and he was such an amazing boyfriend after that. We didn't even fight, still, after that.
Suddenly, four days later, today, on our 3 month "anniversary" I ask him about his sudden change in behaviour. He says he's not sure what's wrong. Then he says, sometimes I'm happy with you, and sometimes I just want to be alone. He "doesn't know" if he wants to break up. He's "not sure" what he wants.
I'm absolutely devastated, of course. I gave him a huge chance when I stayed with him (about his ex). And we don't fight often and he told me he loved me, but how can he suddenly stop replying, suddenly stop being sure? I don't get it. It's developing into a pattern. Is it too soon to call it quits? Do I offer him one more chance to get himself together? Things are SO great when they're great, but when he goes through these unsure phases, he grows really distant for close to a week, pushes me away, and really, really hurts me. We're so good when we hang out or go on dates, and we've never fought over anything. But I don't know what to do.
These periods he goes through are SO BAD that it always feels like a make or break.
We met when I was looking for a snowboarding coach. We hit it off immediately and things started out great. He was more patient with me, and more respectful, than anyone I'd met. We didn't have any fights. He was all that I'd been looking for.
One month in, he has a brief period of hesitation where he gets a little distant and says he's not sure what he wants, but he picks me in the end. We continue forward and this one wasn't a big deal at all; just new relationship doubts, you know?
Two months in, he suddenly said to me that he wasn't over his ex fiancee (who he left over a year ago). I almost broke up with him but he said he was willing to try to move past it, and so we stayed together. He hadn't cheated on me or been talking to her, and I ultimately chalked it up to feeling guilty for moving on. A month later and things have been better than ever! We're going on dates, I've spend the night a couple times, he's more attentive, kind, and affectionate than ever. I see him once or twice a week, and we lead separate friend and work lives, as well as hobbies.
Thursday, he tells me he loves me. I say it back, but I'd been waiting for him to say it first. I've been copying his level of affection, giving him the space necessary to ensure he really was over his ex, that he wanted to be with me, etc. And he really took the chance I gave him, and he was such an amazing boyfriend after that. We didn't even fight, still, after that.
Suddenly, four days later, today, on our 3 month "anniversary" I ask him about his sudden change in behaviour. He says he's not sure what's wrong. Then he says, sometimes I'm happy with you, and sometimes I just want to be alone. He "doesn't know" if he wants to break up. He's "not sure" what he wants.
I'm absolutely devastated, of course. I gave him a huge chance when I stayed with him (about his ex). And we don't fight often and he told me he loved me, but how can he suddenly stop replying, suddenly stop being sure? I don't get it. It's developing into a pattern. Is it too soon to call it quits? Do I offer him one more chance to get himself together? Things are SO great when they're great, but when he goes through these unsure phases, he grows really distant for close to a week, pushes me away, and really, really hurts me. We're so good when we hang out or go on dates, and we've never fought over anything. But I don't know what to do.
These periods he goes through are SO BAD that it always feels like a make or break.
