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Need advice..FAST

my fiance and i have been together 7 years we have 3 kids that are very young.
I admit that i have a spending issue. Im always buying and providing for our children paying utility bills and half of the rent with my own finances and he works and is always paying his dad 100.00 per week to his dad, cable bill and his car insurance plus his beer weekly and his lunch food weekly. He gets paid every week i get paid 1 time a month. So it leaves me with not much for my smokes or gas to put in his van that i drive as i stay home with the kids. Our finances are seperare and it really bothers me. I have asked many times to have a joint acc(i would NEVER spend his money without speaking about it first). He refuses to get a joint account. Now, i have allowed him to start helping me with my spending problem. I want to change for the better. Problem is that.. If i ask him for anything and i mean ANYTHING i have to pay him back. If he buys me a coffee i have to pay him back..yet i always spend money on him and i dont even ever ask for him to pay it back.. His money goes to his savings or his boat or beer always before christmas presants or birthdays. He has never paid for a bday cake or a christmas i dont even get anything xmas morning but of course he gets from me. Seems he means more to me than i do to him or he has no respect for me or something.... We were just outside, his buddy handed him money and states that my fiance buys him lunch daily at work so i stated with a laugh "wow thats more than i get out of him" so my fiance then says...well he actually pays me back

Like why are we even together? I was good enough to have your kids, do your laundry, clean our apartment, and make dinner daily but not good enough to share finances with...
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Jonjdw · 51-55, M
Not good this needs to change. You and him need to sort this out or there will be no marriage it will not work this way.
Katiebaibie · 31-35, F
Ive expressed that it means alot to me to be in a partnership than be room mates...but he refuses due to my spending.. But i mean me buying my kids clothing and school supplies etc leaves me no funds to live off of..then i ask him for help and have to pay it back come that one cheque a month i recieve..like i feel degraded
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
Idk his side of the story. U said he has savings savings for what to buy a house ?

Sounds like he is not grown up enough. And only thinks of himself. He may have been raised to think this way. That what is his is his and what is yours is his. And that will not work.
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
And if u are buying things that the kids need and what the house needs that is not a spending issue.
Katiebaibie · 31-35, F
He has a savings so that he can one day buy a house that he rite now cant buy due to his credit.

He knows that he treats me like poo he said im the only one hes ever treated this way and i dunno why.

He used to be a druggie i helped him he got clean and we had a family which he always wanted and this is the him that i got in return..im the only one hes ever hit he said and i dunno what i did or why
Katiebaibie · 31-35, F
@Jonjdw: he is a spolied brat. He is also a narcissist. He has already agreed that he is and laughed.
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
You need to get out of that marriage.