How to handle my husband?

Poll - Total Votes: 16

Hopeless situation?

Just needs work

You can only vote on one answer.

My husband moved here for me from another country 5 yrs ago. I discovered that he has many anxieties and insecurities doesn't like to mingle with anyone at all and on top of it is extremely lazy, childish and selfish. Sounds bad but those are literally every bad thing about him. No job in all this time.No remorse for not working. Doesn't clean without lots of fussing. This affects our romantic life. I don't want to tarnish his image by telling anyone so many details about our situation in real life. I'm so isolated in this situation. He loves me and now he is trying to work on some business that I purchased but even that is like more burden than help most days.

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Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Well, life does have certain realities.
Bills have to be paid; rent has to be found and moving forward as a couple means having to get your anxieties 'manageable'.
Work. Socialising. Friendships. Plans. etc. These are ALL reasonable adult couple expectations. Not 'fanciful dreams'.
So you need to talk; listen; discuss; plan; and see if you can move forward. I think I'd be inclined to say...
We all get bouts of depression.
But we all know that if you want things to change, you have to find a different way of thinking and behaving compared to what you're currently doing.
He can't deny that.
Say you'll support him 100% as long as he actively seeks change. But if he doesn't, you have to look to the future. And that may have to be without him.