What Are Some Things You Find Challenging In Your Marriage?
Advice that you would give to someone looking or wanting to get married. Helpful tips and/or advice.
26-30, F
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hlpflwthat · M
There's a piece out there somewhere that relationships are really about 'settling' if we're honest. I wanna say it was from Dan Savage, who isn't a bad guy to read if you like to reflect on questions like the one you've posted here.
Basically, we all have our virtual [i]ideal[/i] and a relationship is all about how far we can wander(settle) from that standard to find someone who can put up with us - and our own variation from [i][b]their[/b][/i] ideal.
Personally, I have never seen anyone change their partner into that virtual ideal they grew up picturing. That is not to say I have never seen anyone change their partner for the better - maybe [i][b]much[/b][/i] better in my own case. But as a rule, there isn't much future in re-creating another human to be your sidekick.
Basically, we all have our virtual [i]ideal[/i] and a relationship is all about how far we can wander(settle) from that standard to find someone who can put up with us - and our own variation from [i][b]their[/b][/i] ideal.
Personally, I have never seen anyone change their partner into that virtual ideal they grew up picturing. That is not to say I have never seen anyone change their partner for the better - maybe [i][b]much[/b][/i] better in my own case. But as a rule, there isn't much future in re-creating another human to be your sidekick.